THAT GANGSTER IS AN INSTANT MOMMY

Chapter 33: Pain and Doubts

Mabilis ang pagkabig ko sa aking manibela upang iwasan ang mga sasakyang balak yatang durugin ako, ngunit sa pag-iwas ko ay 'di ko namalayang na bangin ang napuntahan ko at huli na upang umiwas pa.

Dire-diretso lang ang takbo ng kotse pababa sa bangin. Wala akong magawa dahil ayaw rin kumapit ng preno. Wala na akong control sa sasakyan.

"Sh*t!" Tanging mura ko na lamang dahil sa inis. Kinuha ko ang bag kong nakalagay sa passenger seat, bago tiyumempo at tumalon palabas ng kotse.

I used my bag to support my head ilang beses pa akong nagpagulong-gulong. Masyadong malalim ang bangin at mabilis ang pagkakagulong. Wala akong makapitan at hala na rin akong makita. Naramdaman ko na lang na may matigas na bagay sa aking ulo.

I feel dizzy, my sight is blurry that's why I decided to close my eyes for a moment. I even heard my car crashed again. I'm sure durog na ito. Tsk!

I stayed where I am for a couple of minutes to ease the pain I'm feeling right now. Nabalian pa yata ako. Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang akong mata at umupo upang tanawin kung gaano kalayo itong nakahugan ko.

Nanatili akong nakahiga sa saan man ako. Hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang nakaidlip na lang ako dahil sa pagod. Sa muling pagmulat ng akin mata, tahimik ang paligid. Mukhang walang nagagawi rito, masyadong secluded at wala man lang nakapansin na may aksidenteng naganap.

Hinanap ko ang bag ko at mabut na lang at nasa tabi lang ito, agad koi tong kinalkal upang hanapin ang cellphone ko. May basag ito, marahil ay dahil na rin sa pagtalon ko. I went to contacts and dialed Tyler's number. I don't know kung bakit siya ang tinawagan ko. I just feel like he's the one I need right now. After four rings sinagot na niya ang tawag.

"Hello Cheska? Where are you, Tito was looking for you?" bungad nito.

"Where is he?" Tanong ko pabalik.

"He already went to Japan-"

"What!! Why? Bakit hindi man lang niya sinabi?" Gulat kong tanong. Napaupo pa ako kaya medyo nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa katawan ko.

"He said it is an emergency, that's why he is looking for you earlier para magpaalam. I actually accompany him in the airport and fly about 10 minutes now." Wow ang haba na niyang magsalita ah.

"Ganun ba? Maybe I'll just call him." I feel disappointed and relived at the same time. I wasn't able to bid a goodbye to him, but at least he won't worry on what happened to me.

"Yeah...so where are you Cheska? I called your friends but they said na umalis ka sa unit mo ng maaga para umuwi but you're still not here."

"Ahh...about that. Can you search for me?" Alanganin kong tanong.

"What? Are you kidding Cheska, I won't buy those game of yours."

"No, I'm lost and I don't know where I am." Pag-aamin ko.

"What now? How can you be lost? Are you stupid?" Halatang naiinis siya but mas naiinis ako. How dare him call me stupid?

"Just do what I said okay! Ang dami pang satsat ih." Inis kong tugon sabay hampas sa braso ko. Nakakainis sumabay pa itong mga insekto dito. "And not becase I'm lost means I am stupid you asshole!" Sigaw ko.

"Don't talk to me like that lady." Authority is evident in his voice. Pero pake ko ba? He started it.

"Naman para kang si dad! Just used the effin GPS and find me okay. But if you don't want to, well ayOs lang kaya ko naman sigurong makaalis dito. Aaahhh ouch!" I said and end the call. Wala namang kasigaw sigaw. Drama ko lang para makonsensya siya.

I waited for couple of minutes but still no sign of Tyler. Ganun na lang ba ako kahirap hanapin? Or maybe, he's not really looking for me. Sino nga ba naman ako 'di ba?

Kaya naman, kesa mabulok ako rito kahihintay sa wala I'll just go where my car is. Sakaling makahanap ng mga mapapakinabangan pa.

"Sh*t naman oh." Napamura nalang ako sa sakit. Nabalian nga yata ako at sa paa pa talaga. "Ayst kainis naman! Napakamalas." Inis kong wika sabay sabunot sa sarili.

Unti-unti ay sinubukan kong tumayo, but I failed. Sobrang sakit talaga na kaunting galaw ay kikirot na ito. I ripped my jeans to check and it swollen terribly.

I checked again the time, it's 2:35pm, at wala pa rin si Tyler mag-iisang oras na ah! I can't take this anymore. Bakit kase siya pa ang tinawagan ko?

I am about to call Mc when my phone suddenly died. Hindi ko pa pala naicharge ito mula kahapon. Kainis! I have no choice but to help my own self. Muli kong sinubukang tumayo. It hurts, big time, but I have to endure the pain. Wala akong maasahan kung 'di ang sarili ko lamang.

I made my first step and luckily napapilok ulit ako. I can't help but cry in pain.

"AHHH!" I shouted. Natumba akong muli at hindi ko na kayang tumayo pa.

Is this the end? Gusto ko lang naman maipaghiganti si Mommy. Bakit parang wala nangyayari. Puro na lang sakit sa katawan ang natatamo ko. At mas lalo ko lang ipinapahamak ang mga tao sa paligid ko.

Si Mc at Ashley, I know nahihirapan na rin sila sa sitwasyon. Masyado na silang nadadamay hindi man nila aminin, alam kong natatakot sila. This is not what they want. I know they are doing this dahil sa pagligtas ko sa kanila noon. Naging importante na rin kami sa isa't-isa. Hindi ko kaya kapag may nangyari sa kanila.

Should I stop? But if I stop now, hindi rin sigurado kung titigil na ang kalaban. I closed my eyes to stop my tears from falling. No, I won't cry.

"Mommy, I don't know what to do anymore. Gusto ko lang naman magbayad ang may gawa sa'yo. Pero bakit ganito? Mali ba?"

I am between giving up and fighting my negative thoughts when I heard someone shouting my name. Pain and doubts were clouding my mind.

"CHESKA!" Someone called me. It's Tyler, I know it's him. I tried my best to sit down and shouted back.

"Tyler! I'm here!" I saw him running down to my direction. He's in his business suit. I just want to cry seeing him. He looked for me even he's in work.

"Hey, what happened? Are you okay?" He is worried. It's visible in his eyes and his voice.

I didn't think anymore, I hug him very tight as if I am getting strength from him.

"You came..." I said and cried in his chest. I don't know what gotten into me. All my fears I hide came out and all I want is to cry while he is hugging me.

"Shhh...hush now, I'm here." he kissed my temple and hugged me tighter.

We were like that for I don't know how long. Ang alam ko lang sobrang haan ng pakiramdam ko. Inalalayan niya ako sa pagtayo, but I really can't.

"Wait I'll carry you." Tyler said and offered his back. I hesitated at first but he looked at me with assuring smile kaya tinanggap ko na. He guided me and slowly stand as he balance our weight. He hold my thighs as support. And with that, I let myself comfortable in his back.

"You can rest if you want. I'll bring you home safe don't worry." he told me while walking. I smiled and my head in his shoulder. I trust his words. I trust him. I will just rest for a while, just this time. Tomorrow I'll face my problem and I will end it as soon as possible.