tomboy

Chapter 16: We all fall down sometimes

Song- "Lost it all"- Black Veil Brides

I went home one afternoon and I went on my computer and logged into Facebook.
I read the most horrifying thing I have read in my life. And it wasn't because it was scary. Someone had created an account with some guys name and said that he was my ex boyfriend and I raped him and I gave him an STD and that I was a complete whore and slut. Heaps of people I know have commented on things saying that I am a c**t and b***h.
What the hell did I do in my life to deserve this crap?! Bailey was the one that said I slept with him NOT ME.
Then a video was posted of someone wearing a cut out mask of my face making out with a dozen different guys all one after the other and I at the end of the video it says "Hi I am Liz Belz the biggest slut in the whole world!"

I burst into tears and slammed my laptop screen down.
I don't want all these things said about me I don't want people to hate me.
My phone dings. It's a message from Lilian "Your a dumb shit everyone hates you just go and kill yourself"
See this is what hurts more.My friends are even saying stuff.And apparently she wants me to die so...
I just don't want to put up with it again because I had to deal with it all week.
I am going to talk to Bailey tonight and figure things out.
More messages come flooding in.
The more texts the more cries the more screams the more screams is another second closer for me to loose it and lash out.Then I get a message saying stuff about my mum and dad and my cheerleading days. I though know one knew...
I thought that I didn't tell anyone except Bailey about what happened to my parents what happened when I lost everything to my depression and my actions...

"Then I lost it all
Dead and broken.
My back's against the wall.
Cut me open.
I'm just trying to breathe,
Just trying to figure it out
Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.
I said, "Then I lost it all."
And who can save me now?"
- Black Veil Brides "Lost it All"

I believe that we all fall down sometimes. For some it's a huge fall for others it's only tiny.
Everyone falls into different holes. Different problems. Different lives.
And then you do start the think "Who can save me now?" because your trapped between right and wrong, true or false, life or death.
I have been thinking about this all week. Because this week goes on. More messages. More notes slipped inside my locker. More online bullying. I haven't talked to many people. I have kinda become anti social because no one really wants to socialise with he except Lawchn.

Today I pray for every one who has fallen. Every one who has experienced pain.
It might be because of a sick family member, bullying, depression, eating disorders, mental illness and other family issues.

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AUTHORS NOTE

None of this is true but the lyrics from "Lost it all" by Black Veil Brides are.
Sorry if any content offended anyone.