BTS Kidnapped

Grieve Beautifully

Hello all. Me. Again.

What follows is a notice I posted several months ago in my other version of Kidnapped, but I feel that it is important to post this here as a reminder of things that smack us out of the blue.

As an addendum to this, Andy was due, and very much missed, October 1st, 2012, and every year since.

~oooOooo~

So here I was, acting like everything is okay, and I'm fine, and life is grand, when it's not.

So many SMALL things have happened leading up to big things and my mind just hasn't been in a place light enough to cover the dark places that Kidnapped will go.

I understand that I have been away a whole lot longer than I meant to be, and for that I am sorry, but sometimes, things happen.

While I will try my best to finish this Kidnapped chapter I am on, it may not be today, and it may not be until sometime next week.

The chapter that I am painfully crafting for you at this time is very dark, and deals a lot with self-hatred/blame and thoughts of death/suicide. The song I am using is very dark, and the tones I am setting are very dark, and today I am trying to be a light and love to others. Today I wish only to grieve beautifully.

Initially I was going to leave a brief A/N, but as my friends, you all deserve more. So here it is.

Andy Curtis Helton was born sleeping 7 years ago today, April 1st, 2012. Several months too early to survive the world I had so desperately wanted him to be a part of. For many months I was filled with self-hatred and thoughts of suicide, but thankfully I was able to turn my thoughts around and turn my ventures positive once more. I learned to pour my emotions in to my writing; to bleed my feelings through ink, not blood.

So today I wish to be a little gentle with myself. Today I need to love myself and tell myself everything is okay. Andy knows that he is loved and I know that he is in a better place. So please, have a little patience and I promise I will be back, better than ever, very soon.

In the meantime, if ever you are hurting, know that I am here for you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to help you bleed your feelings, I am here. If you need someone to be angry with, I'm here for that too. I love you. And together we can get through anything. Beautifully.

~oooOooo~

~oooOooo~

With all of that said,

Thank you so much for finding this story and staying with it, and with me, especially if you have been with me since the beginning. I know that you have gone a long time without an update and some of our readers it seems have left, and that is okay too.

I know that you got a whole lot of 'life got me' excuses because I was trying to be vague and hold on to some privacy by not giving away everything that I've had going on here.

For literally this entire year I have personally dealt with a lot of shit. From February to even now I have been dealing with a multitude of issues in my home, done a lot of acquisition and restoration work, celebrated 4 birthdays, and mourned the loss of more people than I care to think about. Work got crazy and remains crazy, lots of people missed for lots of various reasons and at the end of the day I was just too mentally and emotionally exhausted to deal with Kidnapped in a productive and conducive way.

I'm really sorry it's going so slow guys. I really am. I honestly hit a rut and am forcing my way back out of it. If ANYONE has any ideas or suggestions the comments section is open.

I really hope to have an *actual* update soon, and I am working very hard towards that, but we will see where life goes.

I am going back to fix some of the dark, and the occurrences leading up to it, but there is nothing that has happened that will affect the way the story reads from here on out, so for my old readers, no need to worry about having to go back and read this story again.

For anyone curious, Chapters 1-47 have been tweaked a little and updated into the format for new readers or for those who choose to go back and read the story again.

Once I get this re-upload and information posting done, I will (hopefully) be skating through the remaining chapters to keep Kidnapped from getting too evil or too dark so that I may post the 6 or so (not even joking) new chapters that are ready for consumption. (I KNOW!!!!)

My twitter got blocked (no idea why) so if you need to contact me, my new account is @The_LadyGrey, or as always, you may leave me an email at kaelyngrey@gmail.com.

Thanks so much for all of your patience.

Kaelyn.