Virago: She Who Can See The Future

Ikalabinsiyam na Kabanata

Ikalabinsiyam na Kabanata

[Petsa: Ika-28 ng Pebrero, 2038, alas dyes ng gabi]

It was dark when I woke up. The sky from the window told me that it's already night. Bumangon ako at inalis ang dextrose na nakakabit sa braso ko. On the sofa lies my aunt who probably did not have any sleep guiding me from the wake of my siblings to their funeral. I do not want to wake her up. Gusto kong mapag-isa. Gusto kong makatakas saglit sa mga kakilala. Gusto kong iwanan pansamantala ang nakaraan ko na ano man oras ay kaya akong ilibing sa kalungkutan.

I stood and walked out silently from the room. Feet wearing slippers and a pair of clothes suited for patients, I decided to head to the rooftop of the building. Sinampal ako ng malakas na ihip ng malamig na hangin pagbukas na pagbukas ko ng pinto. Nanindig ang balahibo ko, at wala sa oras na napayakap sa sarili.

Naglakad ako patungo sa gilid. Tanaw ko sa pwesto ko ang madilim na kalangitan. The unwavering stars are scattered, shining together with the moon. Tinipon ko ang buhok ko, at ipinatong sa kanan kong balikat.

"You might get sick."

May ipinatong na jacket sa balikat ko kasabay ng pagbigkas ng isang tao ng linyang 'yon. Hinarap ko ang nagsalita.

"It's you again." His face does not feel alien to me anymore because of the various encounters I didn't realize we had. "What are you doing here?"

His eyes stared at mine, a gentle look he have on his face. Bahagyang gumalaw ang kanyang panga nang umihip ang hangin at nilipad ang buhok ko papunta sa kabilang direksyon.

"It's cold out here. You should be resting."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Ayaw kong magpahinga."

Lumapit ako sa dulo ng tuktok ng gusali at sumandal sa harang nito. Sumunod siya sa akin. Nilagay ko ulit ang buhok ko sa kanan kong balikat.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, perhaps preparing me for his next questions about my losses.

I licked my lower lip. "I was young when I thought that my parents would die early because of me." I glanced at him, he's just listening. "I thought of how they would possibly die. Maybe, because of illness. Maybe, because of being old. Then, as I grew up, I realized they could also die of accidents until I witness with my own eyes how they died because of it."

"How are you feeling, then?"

"The footage recorded how their car fell off the cliff. I knew my father was a good driver so it was impossible that he was the reason. I found out it was because of another car that overtook their lane." I smiled at him. "I was devastated, I nearly killed myself. I hated the person who caused my parents' death. I almost curse his life."

"How are you feeling now?"

"I accepted their death, but the pain still lingers inside me. Hindi naman gano'ng kadali na mawala 'yon." Pinaglaruan ko ang mga daliri ko. "And then, as the oldest, I thought to myself I would die earlier than my siblings." Natawa ako. Isang mapait na tawa ang pinakawalan ko. "Hindi ko akalaing mas mauuna pa pala sila sa akin."

He didn't utter a single word so did I. I let the wind speak for us. I let it touch my weak being and fly my thoughts away.