Grown Man

Blame It On The Alcohol Part 1

Jungkook's POV

I'm going to choke him, run him over with my car, break his legs with a baseball bat, push him out a window. Literally, anything as long as I can release my anger. He's considering going on a date? With Kim Taehyung of all people? I swear it's like he wants to see me explode; it's like he takes pleasure in having my self-control hanging by a thread. I did what he wished, I moved on... or at least tried to. That's why he didn't accept the ring years ago at the airport and told me to go. It's because he didn't want anything to do with me romantically, it was his way of telling me to move on from him. And I tried, believe me, I tried!

But nothing seems to be working. It's been years since what went down at the airport and I've done everything to get over him. Everything. I've strictly been sleeping with women, in hopes that I can ignore my attraction to men and thus, ignore my love for Jin hyung.

Didn't work, still bisexual and in love with him.

I tried my hand at dating but that went down the drain quickly after my third girlfriend told me she loved me and I responded with, "I love you too, Jin hyung." I can still feel the pain from when she slapped me across the face.

Still, I let him be. I respected his wishes and I have never, since that day at the airport, brought up my feelings for him. But I'll be damned if I let Kim fucking Taehyung get his filthy hands on my man. Yes, my man! Hyung is mine even if he doesn't want me to be his.

If he thinks I'm actually going to let him go on a date with Taehyung, he's got another thing coming. Just because I told him to do whatever he wants, doesn't mean that he should or can. I've been a good boy and  kept myself in check, but if he even so much as says "yes" to that date, I won't hesitate to tie him to the headboard of his bed and show him who he belongs to. I can only hold back for so long until my self-restrain snap.

Currently, we're on our way to Namjoon hyung's house for the dinner celebration. The air in the car is tense and my knuckles are turning white from how hard I am gripping onto the steering wheel. I haven't said anything to hyung since Jimin had revealed that Taehyung asked hyung out so it's easy to guess how uncomfortable this car ride must be right now and how pissed I still am from what Jimin had said earlier.

"Are you going to say yes?" Damnit! I asked. I didn't want to speak to him for the rest of the day as punishment for even considering the date but my curiosity got the better of me. I needed to know how he really felt about the date and whether I should be worried.

"Y'all here something? No, just me?" Hyung asked no one in particular and it was clear that he was annoyed at me, most likely for ignoring him.

"Wow, real mature, hyung" I rolled my eyes.

"Coming from the person who has been ignoring me all afternoon for no goddamn reason, that's funny" hyung said but his voice was completely void of humor.

"I did have a reason" I claimed as I slowed to a stop at the red light.

"Please, enlighten me" Hyung replied before crossing his arms over his chest and turning so his body could be facing me more.

I turned so I could face him too and I was met with the most mesmerizing pair of brown eyes I have ever laid eyes upon. Every time I looked into hyung's eyes, they took my breath away as though I was seeing them for the first time.

Because I'm the one you should be with, not Taehyung. I love you more than words could ever describe. I love you so much that wherever you go, I will follow. I live for you and I would die for you. How much I love you scares even me sometimes because I have never felt emotions so strong for anyone else in my life and I don't think I can ever feel such for anyone ever, because of you. I love you, Kim Seokjin hyung and I want nothing be more, than for you to be mine, forever.

I wanted to say all of that; those were the words that were clawing at my throat and trying to force their way out of my mouth, but I held them back. He made it clear that he didn't want me the way I wanted him and he has done so much for me since the day he met me, it would be unfair to burden him with my unrequited love. What kind of repayment is that? After all he's done for me: taking me in, feeding me, clothing me, raising me. I shouldn't be a burden to him, especially not with my feelings.

So I simply turned back to face forward and I hit the gas as soon as the light turned green. The sooner we got to Namjoon hyung's house, the sooner I get to leave this car. The unsaid words buried deep in my heart were beginning to suffocate me.

"So you're back to ignoring me? Wow, real mature." Hyung scoffed and turned his body away from me before averting his gaze to the scenery outside. I could tell he was sulking and it made me melt on the inside even though my expression was still indifferent on the outside. Gosh, why is my hyung so cute?

I guess it did seem like I was just ignoring him again since I didn't respond to his question and just continued driving as though we weren't previously just having a conversation. If only he knew the real reason why I was acting this way.

But he couldn't because this was all one-sided. Unrequited love.

He didn't see me the same way I saw him.

To him, I was just Jeon Jungkook: the donseng, the little brother, his Kookie.

That was all I was, now and that's all I will ever be.

At least that's what I thought, so imagine my surprise when three hours later, Jin hyung was dry-humping me in Namjoon hyung's living room.