Flourish \\ Sequel to Not a Hollywood Whore | MGK

~Court~

I would put in holding and eventually Gabriel showed up, Gabriel is my attorney. We walked into the court room and sat down. I saw my hoes in the gallery and the judge came in. 

Judge:Alright Ms.Love you are being charged with contemp of a cop how do you plead?

Gabriel:My client would like to plead the 5th

Judge:Okay I'm going to charge you with a disorderly conduct no jail time but you will have to pay a $1500 fine court is adjourned. 

He slammed his gavel and I walked out paying the fine and we left to the venue I did rehersal and soundcheck. I went in the bathroom and did a line I went out and into the green room and sat down as Jenna and Mack started doing their thing.  I heard the girls talking to Becka's live. 

Jenna:Is that the outfit?

Mack:Yeah why

Jenna:I wanna match her eyeshadow to it

Mack:Okay

Becka:B**ch what is you doing

She came over and filmed my phone I was going through my saved folder of cols on ig. I looked at her. 

Me:I miss him

Loren:*laughs* bro its only been a week and some

Everyone laughed and I looked at the photos puckering out my bottom lip. 

Becka:*smiles* Your such a softy

Me:*smiles* I know

After my hair and make up was done and Becka got off live I was put in the outfit below 

I got up and grabbed an EST bandana tying it around my neck. I put in my ear pieces and grabbed my mic.

Daisy:Wait shots first

She poured them and we all downed them and went out.

Dj:Lets welcome my boy BLUEFACE!!!

The instrumental and he walked out rapping. 

DJ:And my girl Keisha Love

We walked out and the girls started dancing and I walked over to BlueFace who was at the edge of the stage. His part finished and I rapped my verse. 

Me:Ki, kiana I was home with my kid momiana real b**ch ion be with all the drama nah minding my business I'm unbothered I aint dragging I'm lit f**k clapping back b**ch I'm clappin on the dick

I threw it back on Blueface which made the crowd go crazy, we both laughed but I kept rapping standing on the speaker. 

Me:bust it bust it I'm a savge b**ch throw it back like the ten year challenge take him to the crib then I push him on the sofa have his breath smellin like p**sy and mamosa we aint finished tell him beat it up and if the p**sy stop breathin give it cpr

I squated down.

Me:So tight think he slipped in my butt ion swallow plan b I just swallow the nut p**sy dope I'm the dope dealer and if ya p**sy good you shouldn't have to maintain a broke n**ga

I jumped off the speaker by Blueface and my girls came over showing him some dance love

Me:Real s**t real life everybody gangbang no it aint real right since I came in the game been a real one and aint s**t changed b**ch I'm still one all facts no cap daddy how you like aint got no time for no subliminals I throw it wide b**ch being petty just means your miserable yea straight lame my p**sy a bust yos a plane jain I make him go insane

The girls drapped a big EST bandana over me

Me:F**k with my black flag on when I cum I say gang on the gang

They cheered and Bluefaced finished his verse. We hugged I thanked him as did the crowd and he walked off and I went on finishing the show around 12:30 a.m. we went to an after party and made it back on the tour bus at 3 a.m. everyone else fell asleep but I edited the music video until 5 a.m and uploaded it. I sat in the 'living room' part of the bus just writing. Not music just-things. 

"Crazy how I can stare into empty space and see his smile, crystal clear as day, I close my eyes and hear his voice. I heard him say my name, I haven't written anything good since he left. Because your smile is like my brothers, your a taurus like my brother, your handsome like my brother, you get angry like my brother and I calm you down like I did my brother. Everywhere I look I see you, everytime I close my eyes your there. The summer isn't the summer without my brother. We used to spend hours there, the beach. Watching the waves crash and the sun set for those moments were pure bliss. Where did you go? Do I really have to grow old without you? Am I really alive? Are you in the stars? Is there a god?  Do you walk with him? Is he a she? Is she in me? Will we ever talk again? Is it strange that I can't wait to meet my fate just to see your face again?  I am looking for a brothers love in every single man. But you will never see me like my brother did, you will never need me like my brother did. Theres a black hole in my soul and its begingin to show through my dilated pupils behind lids half closed, I thought that I'd be fine by now but suffering doesn't die. It grows. Pretending to be perfect is perfectly fine for all the individuals who are perfectly fine. And grew up with money and never went through hards times. And had trust funs and much fun and grew up with their dads. I ahve never had it easy and f**k you if you dont believe me and f**k me for crying over spilled milk that I never planned on drinking. Theses drugs I take, the drinks I down, the circus like way I play with my life is just an escape. Momentarily. In hope of forgetting the pain trapped inside. Momentary sleep, momentary happiness momentary peace. I will say I dont need it around him, his oxygen is like the smoke of the most powerful drug. My body relaxes, my mind clears around him but when I'm alone. I think about you too much. My heart races, sweat pours, as I have flashbacks of all the things I've done after you. Mistakes I've made. Then I saw you, in my day dreams. Leading me to a door and when I walked through it was like bliss. Heaven, I saw you there. Everything was so quiet and still but when you looked at me I hugged you. Feeling the familiar sensation of safety and solitude. I miss you, I told you that and you told me to let you go in order for you to move on I have to forget. I begged you not to go and then you dissappeared and I woke up realising it was a dream. More like a nightmare. How dare you leave me? I was a sunken ship a drunken sip of something thick and then I took a trip. There was no captain but you were my anchor there were poisons and demons and rhymes with no reasons and strangers but there was no danger. You taught me I was plenty and you always taught me that to be complete that you have to be empty and free of all the miseries and energies that hinder me you brought me to my inner peace you taught me it was meant for me. It ends how it begins my friend until we meet again."

I closed my journal a photo falling out before I was able to secure the clasp.

I smiled at the photo. How different we were, how innocent. I put the photo in my journal and closed it securing the clasp. I put it in my purse and I pulled out the bottle. Taking two percs with ciroc and laying down. Sleep did not captivate me, only silence.