Flourish \\ Sequel to Not a Hollywood Whore | MGK

~Change P2~

Jen:Yea so you talk about helping him with his addiction and overcoming that was that an end goal for you?

Me:No, up until a few years ago he was still coping with some very ferocious demons and unfortunately human connection was not enough so I wasn't going to stop the one thing that was making him feel good. 

Jen:Would you regret that statement  if he passed during that period?

Me:Atleast he would be happy

I shrugged and tears quietly rolled down my cheeks. 

Jen:People were saying you were enabling his addiction and you became very defensive about this topic why is that

Me:People act like I never inferred we've had many many fights about it but arguing only pushes a person to persue their addiction more. 

Jen:What was your role in it?

Me:Just loving him, colson demands and craves on very attentive affection. He thrives on it and if thats what he needed to help cope then I'm in it for the long run.

Jen:Thats a perfect segway throughout all this time through your guys problems you never talked bad about him, you never took off your ring, you never fell into interview traps of dissing him and you made it very evident that you would never leave him even if wore came to worst tell me about that.

Me:I never wanted to leave him, I still dont and it was never about the music or our children even. I knew that after everything if I lost this person I would never move on cause I was exhausted and tired of loving people and not getting anything in return and thats something we connected on. Like I needed his existence to cope and he used that need to cope with existing

He nodded and put his arm around me. 

Jen:You both live a very crazy life and have to deal with a lot how do you stay grounded?

Colson:Each other, I think we keep each other grounded.

Jen:Do you check each other?

Me:Of course, we have too

Jen:You often talk about your love for paris where did that stem from?

Me:*smiles* Him, the first time I went to paris with him was about 2 years into working with him and it was a stressful month and he was just like book us the next flight to paris. 

Jen:Okay and going into your fame and sucess you had some downfalls more specifally with your hometown bestfriends tell me about that

Me:They weren't my friends, not real ones atleast um and they were just in it for the ride. 

Jen:What made you realize it

Me:We had a fight at our crib in the studio and this girl who was my bestfriend said something like you dont deserve kells and it was like woah and I started remembering red flags that I surpassed cause they were my "friends" moments where they were like let me slide through we haven't seen the guys in awhile, can you do this for me, can you get this for me and all that stuff

Jen:So what happened after that?

Me:I became very closed off again and I was uh really kept to myself. 

Jen:Tell me what this tweet means

She gave me a paper and it was one of my tweets. 

"I dont want you to be another one of them"

Me:This is speaking on celebrity passings

Jen:Can you tell me why you tweeted this

Me:This was after the second scare with Cols