Stonehearts 8: Peridot

Four

"I'm sorry, Doc. Ano po?" I feel like my hearing is deteriorating. Hindi ko naintindihan 'yong mga huli niyang sinabi. I zoned out after she said that it wasn't just mere dysmenorrhea.

"Endometriosis." she repeated. "It's a common condition in women." then she pulled a picture of what looks like a picture of the uterus. "The tissues that lines the uterus is called the endometrium. When a woman develops endometriosis, microscopic bits of that tissue escapes the uterus and grows on other organs like the ovaries, outer wall of the uterus, the fallopian tubes and more. The escaped tissues respond to hormones, estrogen & progesterone, by thickening and may bleed every month. Pero dahil nabubuo siya sa labas ng uterus natin, 'yong dugo na namuo, hindi nailalabas ng katawan. That causes irritation to the surrounding tissues, which results to cysts and scars."

I swallowed the big lump on my throat. I'm not dumb but I didn't understand any words she said. I was looking at her, but I absorbed nothing from her.

"B-bakit ako may ganito, Doc?" I whispered, the knot in my stomach getting bigger and I feel like I might puke.

Sumimangot siya, sabay lapag ng hawak niyang laminated na papel. She rested her forearms on her table and fused her hands together.

"Up until now, the main cause of the disease is unknown."

I nodded my head. I don't want to ask any more questions because I feel like my condition is getting worse and worse. "A-anong susunod kong gagawin?"

"Do you have a partner or a husband?" she asked rather.

"I have a boyfriend." A boyfriend who doesn't want to give me kids unless he gets me tied down to him.

She nodded her head, "Are you planning on getting pregnant? Mas maganda habang bata ka pa."

My heart suddenly thumped hard against my chest. "B-bakit, Doc? Is there a chance that I won't get pregnant?"

I know she saw the panic in my eyes and how rigid my body became, "Yes. The implants may eventually bond the reproductive organs together and this may cause infertility. Kaya if you and your partner are planning to procreate, then we must start with your treatments. Do you feel severe pain during intercourse?"

I shake my head. "My boyfriend and I haven't done it. He's very strict with his morals and doesn't approve premarital sex."

The doctor gave me a tight smile. "I see. Marami pala tayong dapat i-consider but – "

"It doesn't matter what he thinks, Doc. This is my body. We'll do whatever we need to do. I don't want to lose my chance of getting pregnant."

Because that's all I ever want.

A kid.

Maybe two or three of them.

My mind wandered off to a scene. Me chasing two little kids, a boy and a girl. I heard their squeals while they try to go as far away from me as possible with their little feet. But when I finally caught one of them, I was shocked to see the boy who likes like a little human copy of Kiel Loyzaga.

I woke up gasping for air. I was sweating profusely, my heart racing like an athlete. I looked around and I finally relaxed when I realize I am in my room.

I again buried myself in my pillows and in the warmth of my blanket only to bolt upright when I remembered how my night ended.

Paano ako nakauwi?