Stonehearts 8: Peridot

Thirteen

The feeling I have now is the same during the time my high school crush glanced my way and waved at me. You know, that feeling when your heart is ballooning with excitement you're near exploding.

Yup, I'm on that high. But this time, it has a certain flavor. And it goes by the name Keiran Ignacio.

I'm now believing what Era had claimed. Mas lumalala nga – kung ano man ito – habang patuloy kong pinagpipilitan na wala lang ang lahat.

I swiped my sweaty palms on my high-waist pencil skirt, straightening the imaginary creases so I can ease my mind on seeing Kiel again.

It's crazy how he influenced me in just a matter of hours. I knew I had set my mind on eliminating him from my life the moment I started packing my things back in Boracay, but somehow, somewhere along the moment when we had the most ridiculous conversation about ownership, my reluctance snapped. And for whatever reasons I have for running towards the other way are now gone.

Kanina habang naliligo ako, napagtanto ko na bakit hindi na lang siya? Kung sa kanya na lang kaya ako magpabuntis? I mean that guy is sex personified. I've been around him long enough to watch and observe what girls do to get his attention and I'm positive he doesn't need to exert a lot of effort to bag a girl home.

It comes naturally to Kiel, especially with oozing sex appeal, magnetic charm, and of course, let's not forget his body. God, I haven't seen him naked but the way his clothes hug and mold his body already does weird things to me. How much more if I get to see it up close and personal?

I bit my lip, my thighs drawing closer with each other. Okay, I need to stop thinking about his body.

I stopped blow drying my hair and sighed.

If I ever do this, tell him this, I need to make sure that everything is clear between us.

All I need is him to impregnate me. All I need is the baby. I don't need love. I don't need commitment. If he wants to offer friendship after, I might be down with it. Ngunit kailangan ko rin linawin na hindi dapat malaman ng bata na siya ang ama.

I shrugged. With the background he has, sigurado naman ako na 'yon din ang gugustuhin niya. Besides, he's at the point of enjoying his life. He doesn't want liabilities, he doesn't want commitment, and more importantly, he doesn't want a baggage that has a cute set of toes and fingers.

Which gives him the first place on my roster of candidates. Not that I have a lot, it's just him and Aiden.

Speaking of the latter, I urgently need to tie up some loose ends with him. It makes me feel awful doing this, but I can't keep him. Hindi ko maibigay ang gusto niya. Alam naman niya 'yon, but somehow he made it a mission to change my mind.

Kapag nag-usap kami, sasabihin ko sa kanya ang lahat. I owe him that. There's a chance he'd resent me but I rather have it that way than to keep him in the dark. At alam ko namang nakita na niya itong paparating. But what he doesn't know is that our end rooted from a man who bulldozed his way into my life and refused to yield no matter how hard I try.

Maintaining a confident and determined outlook, I nodded at my reflection. Mentally tagging 'talk with Kiel' and 'talk with Aiden' under the ASAP file in my head.

I finished my look with a little mascara, a dab of neutral blush, and lip gloss. I examined myself in the mirror. Hindi ko alam kung bakit may parte ko ang nagsabi na kailangan kong pag-isipan ang susuotin ko ngayon araw. Naka-ilang palit at halungkat ako sa damitan ko until I ended up wearing a white, short-sleeved, button down polo, tucked inside my black, high-waist, pencil skirt that ends below my knee, capping my look is my trusty suede black pumps.