Stonehearts 8: Peridot

Nineteen

Me: What do you mean you can't?

Kiel Loyzaga: I can't be with you.

I was hoping I could cry these frustrations out but I was too furious to do so. I get it, may mali ako. I chose Aiden over him last night. But my options weren't that pretty.

Kahit naman ayaw kong umalis, my morals will come hit me straight on my freaking face. Hindi ko kayang balewalain na mag-isa si Aiden kagabi at walang nag-aasikaso sa kanya.

Given that I opted to call his family instead, aabutin pa rin ng ilang oras bago sila makarating sa ospital dahil outside Manila area na sila.

I want to rile him. Agitate him. Fucking see him splinter while I demand answers to his obnoxious behavior. Kaso wala ako sa lugar. Wala akong karapatan ipagpilitan na sagutin niya ang mga tanong na gustong kong ihampas sa pagmumukha niya.

"Yan, ikaw na muna ang bahala rito."

Agad namang kumaripas si Yan sa harap ng bukas na pinto ng opisina ko. I must be emitting a not so approachable aura since no one dared to trade jokes with me like they usually do.

"Opo, Ate. Anong oras ka babalik?"

"Baka gabi na. You can close the shop kahit wala pa ako." I answered.

I saw her nodding her head before scuttling away. I sighed and glanced at my phone. He didn't contact me after that message. Meaning, he really desired an abrupt end to whatever we have. Ayoko na sanang isipin, kasi masakit ang biglang pagsikip ng dibdib ko sa tuwing naaalala ko. He discarded me that easily.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Sulking won't do me any better. Maybe, I should tend to concentrate on the brighter side. That him leaving is actually good riddance.

I scoffed at my own remarked almost instantly. Good riddance my ass, Peridot.

Giving one last look at my phone, I blocked his number and went on with my swamped schedule.

I have underestimated my own mind when I said that letting myself get absorbed with my job will scatter then disintegrate all my thoughts concerning Kiel.

Because no, my damn stubborn mind kept on hurling our memories at me, giving me a whiplash of emotions. Which is infuriating because to be honest, we haven't known each other for that long. Making these abhorrent recalls too overpowering.

No wonder, by the end of the debut, I'm severely fatigued and enfeebled. Kakatakbo sa venue para siguraduhing okay ang lahat, pakikipag-usap sa mga taong pinapakilala sa'kin ng magulang ng debutant – since I'm living for referrals, and of course, fighting the nagging part of my brain that shouts 'unblock his number!'

I was tempted to head straight home after the party, but somehow I found myself driving back at my shop.

Hindi na dapat ako nagulantang ng napansin kong may naka-park na pamilyar na Audi sa dapat na lugar ng sasakyan ko at nakita ang bulto ng isang lalaking naka-sandal doon. However, a gasp still escaped my mouth. I slowed down and thought about maneuvering the other way.

Kaso nakita ko ang pinagtingala niya at alam kong huli na ang lahat para mag-back out. Tapping on my fight or flight response, my brain picked fight. Sa bagay, kailangan ko rin ang paliwanag niya para manahimik na itong utak ko. At kung nandirito na siya at buong loob niyang ibibigay sa'kin 'yon. Might as well bite the opportunity.

I parked one space away from his car. I peered at him and his face looks heedful at the same time, afraid. He waited for me to exit my car before he took his steps to get close to me.