Stonehearts 8: Peridot

Eight

My mind was on autopilot.

I let Kiel dragged me out of the aircraft into the arrival area in silence. Hindi ko alam kung bakit wala akong lakas ng loob magpumiglas, ni hindi ko nga nagawang agawin ang kamay ko sa kanya.

We stood beside the conveyor belt, waiting for our luggage. I am aware of my surroundings but somehow, I feel like my mind is elsewhere.

Kiel noticed my unusual quietness making him turn his attention to me, "You, okay?" worry etched in his voice.

I gulped and open my mouth, but words won't come out. Closing it, I opted to just nod my head. Hindi ko siya ginawian ng tingin, I don't know why. But I felt terrified of him and the things he does to me.

It was never like this with Aiden. Yes, we understood each other a lot. We never once had a fight. Nagkakaroon lang kami ng hindi pagkaintindihan kapag nasa usapan na ang pagpapakasal at pagkakaroon ng anak, pero maliban doon, wala na. It's not even a full-blown argument. We just exchanged couple of words and then let the issue die a natural death. That's our relationship. Which worked for me since I don't need someone storming into my life making me doubt my decisions. I was never unsure of anything with him – much more about myself.

Now, this unknown thing with Kiel – I don't know what to think. Or why do I feel this way about him. I feel like my body is tightly wired whenever he's around me. Alam akong naiinis ako sa kanya, but there's something more. But as much as it taunts me to fall carelessly and without inhibitions to his traps, I must not. He is sin. He is bad news. At wala akong magandang mapapala kapag nagpadalos-dalos ako.

"Hey, earth to Peridot?" I saw him waving one of his hand in front of me.

I readjusted my focus and noticed he already gathered our luggage. "T-tara na ba?" utal na tanong ko.

"Sigurado kang ayos ka lang? You're awfully quiet. It's so unlike you." He said instead.

I studied his face for a while and there goes my rallying heart, reacting wildly as if it's an animal wanting to get unconfined. I jerked my head from side to side.

"Y-yeah. Pagod lang." I muttered dryly.

I peered at him through my peripheral vision and saw he was pursing his lips looking. . .  annoyed? Bakit naman siya ma-ba-badtrip?

It was like that the whole time until we arrived at the island and to our hotel. Walang kibuan, pero sa haba ng biyahe na 'yon, ni minsan hindi niya pinakawalan ang kamay ko.

Once I finished talking to the receptionist and got our keys, I faced him.

"Here." then I hold the card to his room. He looked at it for a moment before he reluctantly snatched it from my hold. "I'm gonna go ahead and take a rest."

I pulled the handle of my luggage but abruptly stopped on my tracks when I felt him grab me by the arm. Electricity zapped through my body making me jerk.

Kumunot ang noo niya saka siya napatingin sa kamay niya saka sa akin. "Did I do something you didn't like that you're acting like this? As if I might do something and hurt you?"

There's edginess in his voice. It was calm yet filled with confusion and . . . anger.

I placed my palm where his hand landed on my arm and hugged myself. "Pagod lang ako, Kiel. Please, don't make a big deal out of this." I'm proud of how solid my voice sounded.

We got into a stare down before I was able to turn on my heel and walk away from him.

When I got into my room, the whirlwind of events came crashing on me. The kiss. Our drama at the precinct. Aiden proposing to me. Him suddenly popping out of nowhere after that disastrous last date with ex-boyfriend. Meeting him again. The incident inside my car. Begging him to go here. Him refusing. Him claiming we have to talk. Him faking a honeymoon. Him. All of him.