Sword Art Online ALICIZATION- Reversal

Chapter 17- Recollection

The otherworldly entity known as Kirito Synthesis Thirty listened to Alice, he comprehended and understood that what she said about the Administrator was true as he was never truely bound to her except by fear and faith,  and what he assumed to be psychological conditioning. But then he had a request, he wanted to know what his past was. So he listened, the entire time, the vague echos of his memory- the feelings, images, sounds, and smells that he'd experienced in his dreams or as breif and fuzzy flashbacks over the past 6 years resurfacing with newfound clarity. 

He saw one of his nightmares. A man who looked like him standing there with Dark Repulser and another sword that was black as night, clad in all black with no armor, just a coat.  He had always called that man 'The Black Swordsman' Then that image would burn to the ground and he saw a child in it's place. The child was told that if he could master the sword, he could go home. So the child worked had everyday so that he could go home. But after 2 years of practice. The 13 year old boy who had always looked so much like him was brought before the Administrator. The Pontifex tried to trick the boy into saying... saying something but then she forcibly subjected him to a rite that made the boy start to cry. That boy then vanished in a flash of light, in its place, Kirito Synthesis Thirty stood. He now realized that this was his past. It was the proof that he was human. That nightmare was a memory, the memory of his heart and soul being torn from his body- corrupted, broken, and stripped of everything before being given back over to him. He had everything taken from him. Everything he had ever known was stolen by the Church, then as he stood as an Integrity Knight in place of his childhood self. He heard 3 voices crying out. 2 girls and a boy, one was likely the child voice of Eugeo as he cried out "Brother!" And another was a female voice which he now recognized as Alice, she always yelled his name. But another femine voice, he didn't recognize cried out 'Wake up! Kirito!!' He remembered what mattered to him now.

He remembered Eugeo's name, two boys that looked like him and Eugeo chopping a tree, he remembered making a toy sword with the girl now at his side, he saw flashes of a promise a made, a girl with long light brown hair throwing herself in front of him, a girl he didn't recognize sitting by his side as he looked into the sunset, and he now recalled seeing the Dark Territory with two young blondes- one boy and one girl. He then thought of his swords and a blue haired girl with slited blue eyes came to mind, armed with a bow but he couldn't remember her name. But he recognized his sword- Excalibur. He also saw a flash of a girl with pink hair, holding his Dark Repulser out to him.  His head hurt. It felt like his veins were on fire. 'I am a human. I am Kirito. Kirito the Swordsman, an Integrity Knight.' He thought as he then spoke the names, "Selka... Eugeo..." he felt his eyes water, how familiar they sounded. How close they must be to him, he could feel it now.  They tried freezing him because they were his friends! They never wanted to hurt him.... they were protecting him, they made a promise. "I promised..." He whispered and noticed Alice crying, slowly, he entended his arm out to her, clenching his fist with his free hand. "I... I don't remember. But my heart and throat do, my soul still remembers." He said as he felt it, he felt how much Alice cared for him. How precious those names were to him. How much she genuinely cared for him and thought of him, he mattered to her. He wasn't a number to her, he wasn't just a pair of swords to her. To her, he was human. He looked in the eyes of the blonde, in those blue eyes he was more than an Integrity Knight. He was her friend, more important than any law or custom. She was here because of him, she had came so far and become strong enough to overpower multiple Integrity Knights by herself for him. She went through so much... so much pain and suffering to gain power, power that she had used to come to him. Power she only ever wanted to use to bring him home.... 'Home' he thought as she cried. 'You don't want to be in Centoria, you want to be home, but you came so far because you wanted to bring me back home with you?' He asked her silently.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. "I promised to protect you..." he whispered to her "Don't worry, Alice, you're not alone. I'm here... I'm here. Don't cry, please, don't cry Alice." He whispered to her and she held onto him tightly, laying her head his shoulder. His eyes widened but he tightened his hold on her as he understood that she wasn't a knight or even a warrior. She was just a girl who was willing to fight like hell for the people she cared for. 'I am Kirito Synthesis Thirty. I am the Black Knight who carries two swords. I am the swordsman in black, I protect... I protect those who cannot protect themselves. A gilded hero... and if I... if I!' He held her closer. 'If I can't protect the small, innocent girl at my side then.... then how.... How can I... how I be a hero? A hero who saves everyone? How can I save everyone if I can't even protect this one girl now!' He said in his head as he closed his eyes. "Please don't leave me again, Kirito! I can't go through that again! I won't make it without you...." she continued to cry. "I'm here, I'm here..." he whispered as she desperately held onto him, as if he would disappear if she even so much as loosened her grip. She faught for him for years,  he understood that in its entirety. She was a fighter, however she was no warrior, but she tried to hide her scars for so long yet here she was, her mask of strength broken down before him. Proof of her trust in him, her belief that he wouldn't take advantage of her moment of weakness. She was in no state to protect herself, but he was an Integrity Knight, dutybound to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. As a Knight, he held the power and he was obliged to use it to stand up for the weak and the small. And right now, she was weak and she was small. Besides, after going through so much for him, it was only right that he return the favor. Now, it was his time to fight for her. 'Don't let her go, Kirito. Don't ever let her go... don't let her go through that again!' He mentally commanded himself as Alice cried in his arms.