Sword Art Online ALICIZATION- Reversal

Chapter 39- Fleeting Heart

Where are you, Kirito? You haven't logged on in days and you haven't replied to any of my messages, I haven't seen you at school either. I'm so scared.... 

I wonder if it's strange that I miss you so much? Then again, we met a year into SAO. Ever since you saved me from PoH, I've felt drawn to you. I know what I feel but Asuna got you first.... the jealousy still hasn't gotten any weaker. I had nothing to do so for the past day and half, I've been at our usual meeting spot in ALO. I was hoping you'd come.... 

I still remember that time. It was in the final 6 months of SAO, when I used that bath oil. Heheh, had it been anyone else in the room that night, I'd shudder at the memory. However, it wasn't anyone else, it was you, Kirito. I became intoxicated by that bath oil and I know that I made it seem like I was disgusted or scared of us doing that. But I wasn't. It wasn't that I was offput at the idea, it's just that I wanted to wait until I could be with you in the real world. However, looking back on it, that towl covered me more than my actual outfit. Damn it, Kirito, why do you do this? You're so sweet, innocent, and compassionate- I know you'd never do anything dirty with someone without consent. Yet despite your innocence, as long as I've known you, you've been a womanizer who does what he wants. Honestly, I wish you noticed how I felt before..... 

She pisses me off so much. Asuna drives me crazy, yet I'd never show it. I don't want to hurt you so I tolerate her and keep up my friendly mask. Part of it is because she has you and not me, the other part is that I've always found her annoying. Still, I wish Asuna had never met you. That way I could have you to myself. I remember when you helped me with that quest, that night, when I had the dress on. Hearing that you liked it made me so happy, I miss those days. Back when I didn't have so many girls after my hero. 

I can't tell you how many hours I spent crying this week, I feel helpless. I'm lost without you, Kirito.  You saved my life, helped me get over my past trauma, and looked after me for a year and never asked for anything in return. You never said what your reward was, but I think I know, it was to see me smile; to see everyone smile and being themselves. Whenever a hard monster would approach a party, everyone else would flee and scatter but not you. You never gave into fear and despair, you remained yourself. You didn't change to fit the game, you forced the game to change to house you. I think that you just wanted to see everyone smile, to show them that hope was not lost, to teach them that they could bend the system of they willed it. You beating the game 25 floors early is proof of that. But why did you help me specifically? Why did you go through so much trouble for one girl, over the past year and a half I've realized why. It was all for the sake of seeing me smile, of seeing me fight instead of running and hiding. I think that's why, you saw something in me and by the end of SAO, you brought it out. 

I miss you, Kazuto Kirigaya. 

Sincerely, Kotone (Philia) Takemiya

A/N: I just want to say that the reason I added Philia is because I like her character and I'm trying to not contradict the anime seasons before season 3, I can introduce her with a slightly altered background. You'll see. Anyways, I hope you all like Philia as much as I do cuz she'll be important later. And yes, I went with a sort of diary or journal entry for this chapter.