the brit in bio - billie eilish

i promise you this, i'll always look out for you

title: sparks - coldplay

olivia's POV

warning* this chapter contains mentions of abuse. viewers discretion is advised.

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the thing about noah is, he is extremely homophobic. and he can be quite sexist at times. he really is a wonderful guy, i'm just noticing that he's not nearly as amazing as i thought he was. i mean, i love him. i have to. he's my brother. but if he were any other guy, i'd hate him. if i hadn't been through so much with him, maybe we'd have one of those sibling relationships where they both really hate each other. 

this is one of the reasons i decided to keep billie and i a secret. god knows i don't want to, i hate having to sneak around and not be able to hug and kiss her in public. but now that noah knows, maybe we don't have to. 

"shit, shit, shit, shit, shit" i cuss to myself. i run around the room and pick up my bra and shirt, quickly putting them on as billie tells noah to wait. "i'm not going to fucking wait! open up this goddamn door or i'll break it down!" he yells. "bitch, i hope the fuck you do" i hear finneas exclaim. i finally get my clothes on and check to see if billie left any marks as she does the same. 

"h-hey no-noah" i smile, pretending nothing happened. "what the fuck do you think you're doing?! i'm helping emily with her homework in the kitchen and i look over and see you half naked with this dyke on top of you!" he shouts. "hey, don't you ever talk about my sister that way. and that is absolutely no way to speak to your own sister." finneas responds with a look of anger and confusion, furrowing his eyebrows and glaring at noah with a small grimace. "did you know about this? your sister is a dyke! and she's corrupting mine!" noah raises his voice, turning to finneas, pushing him. "why don't you get the hell out of my brother's face, apologize to olivia and then get the fuck out" billie tells him, grabbing noah by the arm and pulling him away from finneas. "i'm not going to apologize! she should be apologizing. and if you think i'm not going to call and tell mum as well as maria, you are very mistaken" he says with a small laugh, approaching billie and i. "n-no-no-noah p-p-p-p-p-please-" i start but billie cuts me off. "the fuck you will! that is her choice and if i hear anything about you outing her, you're in for the ass beating of a lifetime and trust me, it won't be from me." billie says and pushes him away from us and moving me behind her protectively. "what is your problem? are all fags like this?!" he asks in a loud voice. "get the fuck out of my house right now." finneas orders. "or what?" noah laughs. "i'll call the police. considering you came in here without our permission, pushed me and refused to leave, you could go to juvie for breaking and entering and assault." finneas explains and folds his arms. "whatever. olivia, you're coming with me." noah demands, grabbing me by the forearm with a very tight grip, pressing down on my veins and dragging me out the door. 

i look back and see billie and finneas running after us. finneas has his phone up to his ear and billie is yelling. "get the fuck back here!" billie shouts. "noah p-p-ple-please" i beg until i get cut off. "why the fuck are you stuttering?! i'm your brother! you don't stutter around me!" he yells at me, pushing me onto the ground and kicking me in the side before yanking me back up by my wrist. "fuck you" billie says angrily and tackles noah to the ground. finneas runs over and forces me out of noah's grip, bringing me back to the house. "stay in here. please." finneas tells me with a worried look, leaving me in his bedroom. "i'll be back soon. i promise." he says before running outside. i look out the window and see them both circled around him. i see finneas kick noah as billie punches him. billie grabs him by the collar and says something to him, though i'm not sure what and lets go of it, making him fall back onto the pavement. she spits on him and walks away, but finneas stays there. several seconds later billie walks into finneas's room. 

"i'm sorry." she tells me. "it-it's okay. he d-de-deserved it." i respond. "how're you feeling? are you hurt?" she asks. she gently grasps my arm and i wince. "fuck." i say under my breath. "sorry." she frowns and slowly starts to roll up my sleeve. i take my arm back quickly and she gives me a worried look. 

to be completely honest, billie has only seen my full arms under red lighting. i always wear sleeves and when we're under the red lights you can't really see birthmarks, bruises.... scars.

i slowly roll up my sleeve, cursing as it applies pressure to bruises on my arm. billie lets out a small gasp but stifles it quickly. "you're beautiful olive. it's okay if you don't realise that now, i'm gonna help you learn to love yourself. i'll show you how beautiful you are. i want you to see you the way i do. pure admiration." she tells me, kissing the scars on my arms gently. "just know i care about you. i'm always here. i'm not gonna leave." she continues, trailing kisses across my neck after finishing my arms. "i'm going to show you that you are so beautiful. inside and out. you're sweet, caring, funny, sexy, supportive, understanding, all the good things. you're an angel." she adds, kissing my jawline softly. i moan quietly and put my hand on her thigh. she puts her hand over mine and squeezes it gently. i intertwine our fingers and she brings her lips to mine. i pull away after a few seconds and hug her. she hesitantly wraps her arms around me, being extra careful and kisses the top of my head, rocking us slowly. 

i hear a siren outside and look out the window. there's a police officer in front of the house and he's talking to noah and finneas. they grab noah and push him against the car, putting him in handcuffs. they get him into the car, but i can tell he's yelling something. right before the car door shuts, he looks right at me and we make eye contact. i look away quickly and billie presses our lips together again. i smile weakly against them and deepen it.

"enough making out on my bed. disgusting" finneas breaks us up and grimaces. "make room for jesus" he orders and forces us to move apart by almost sitting on us. "so, what happened?" i finally ask. "they're gonna take him down to the station and then he has court in a few days. which reminds me, they want you and i to testify as witnesses. and olivia you're the victim so you have to go as well." he explains. "okay." i nod. "are you alright olive?" billie asks. "yeah. i'm good." i respond blankly. "does maria know?" i ask. "yeah, she came home a few minutes after you two came inside." he answers. "okay. can i stay here for the night?" i ask. "of course" billie smiles weakly. "okay. thanks." i sigh and stand up. i hold my hand out and billie takes it before standing up. "you wanna go get some food?" billie asks. "yeah, sure." i shrug. "you want anything finn?" billie questions. "no thanks" finneas shakes his head. "alright, see you in a bit. love you" billie says, hugging finneas and kissing his head. "love you too billie" finneas smiles and hugs her back.

i want things to go back to the way they were in manchester

when noah and i were that close

but i guess it's for the best