the brit in bio - billie eilish

goodbye

title: goodbye - billie eilish (even though she doesn't even say goodbye in it.....)

billie's POV

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it's about 5 am when i hear olivia's alarm go off. she stretches and turns it off before trying to get out of my grip. "no." i reject and keep a firm hold on her. "billie my flight is in like two hours. i have to go." she explains. "no. stay." i order. "billie, i can't" she reminds me. "please." i say, trying to hold back tears at the thought that this is actually real. "billie. i have to go." she repeats. "at least let me drive you." i demand. "okay." she agrees, finally getting out of my grasp.

after a few minutes, everything is packed into the car and we're ready to go. "thank you guys so much. i hope we can stay in contact." olivia says to my family before hugging each of them. "call us anytime okay?" mom orders. "okay maggie. i will" olivia laughs a little. "patrick do you think i can speak to you alone?" olivia asks. "of course" dad nods and leads her to another room. "are you ready?" mom asks. "no. not one bit." i shake my head. "you guys will be okay. i promise. it'll be okay." mom assures me. i hold back the urge to ask how she knows and take a deep breath. "i hope so" i respond.

a little while later olivia and i are in the car, headed to the airport. i have one hand on the wheel and the other is in hers. she's playing music through the speakers via bluetooth and singing along, making me wish she would stay with me even more. somehow making me fall even more in love with her. instead of thinking about what's gonna happen in the future, i decide to finally live in the present and start singing with her. she smiles at me and starts singing even louder, turning the volume up. the sun is rising and i see a tunnel up ahead. i turn the music up even more and we go through the tunnel with all the windows down. in this moment.... i feel infinite.

we arrive at the airport and i take her as far as i can, keeping her at my side the entire time. "call me when you land okay?" i order. "okay." she nods. "i'm really gonna miss you olive." i tell her, still trying to hold back tears just as i have since i woke up. "i'm gonna miss you more." she responds. "whatever you say. just know that i'm only a call away. whenever you need anything, just call me. i'm always here for you. always have been and always will be." i explain. "always and forever" she says, linking her ring finger with mine. "always and forever." i smile a little and wrap my ring finger around hers. "i love you so much." i sniffle, letting tears slide down my face. "i love you more." "i love you most."

fuck this is gonna hurt way more than i thought.