THE OLD ME BACK

Chapter 15

After the dinner with my boardmate, I'm now lying on my bed comfortably. He left me earlier in a little dining room after he drank his coffee because he was eager to finish his paperworks in his room. I am thinking right now if it really happened that he did initiate in conversing with me. That's the first time it happened due to his silence skills. While I can't sleep right away, I try to check the time and I find out it's nearly 12 in the midnight already.

"I don't want to mention her name for confidentiality. But you know what, I admired her a lot. She's my idol, but it got changed when she went beyond everyone's limit."

Gosh! Why did it replay in my mind without my consent? Scratch that!

That really hurts my ego. It really kills me that's why I don't want to mind it again. Geez! I can't believe what my boardmate has said earlier. Not to be assuming but I am very sure that I am the one he's referring to. The way how he said earlier that everything went good for that certain girl he idolized, not until she exceeded to her limitations that everyone was already affected. By that, it suddenly comes in my mind how my life in St. Jude in my later year was like.

"Give way, you unknown creatures!" I said with emphasis as they were blocking the corridor. They stopped talking with one another in the middle of the way though I can disturb them not if I would pass by the left side. But why would I do that? Did they think I would really take adjustment just for them? "You are all simply a dust to my sight!"

Instantly, they got scattered as their faces were so shocked I have said those words. But I didn't mind their reaction, I just lifted my right eyebrow to all of them and pass them by afterwards.

"Whoa, is that Alesha who has just talked and passed by?"

"I can't believe it."

Many eyes were on me while I was passing by the corridor. Others earned their courage to greet me but I just continued walking without noticing them, as if I have not heard them.

"So strange she didn't smile."

I was rushing my steps now with rage. My mind was already preoccupied with any possibilities. No one can calm myself because even I, myself, hardly to do so at this very moment. I am filled with jealousy and somehow revenge even if I haven't seen yet the actual betrayal. I can't help but to go in a certain place where some students reported me I can find them two.

But these thoughts in my mind suddenly disappeared when one guy approached me that I was not able to step again.

"Hi Alesha! You've been my idol very since when we were in Grade 8. Can I have a picture with you? Please? Just one."

I stare at him unbelievably. Really at this moment he would ruin the momentum of my thoughts and emotions?

"Could you please be out of my sight?" I angrily requested, with my most polite way I can possibly do. "The hell I care. I don't allow myself from then on to be in the picture with just someone."

He gulped and got a reddish face because of shame. Some students who were there bullied the guy with boo's, while the rest murmured about me. But as what I said, the hell I care if they would kill me in their minds. He's deserving of that, anyway.

I gasped as I continued walking while my train of thoughts were coming back. I was getting paranoid then that any moment from now, I might get collapsed. There were many questions running through my mind that even I can't answer.

Does he really love me? Or he's just using me for popularity?

Will he do the same mistake again and again or will he prove that my accusation against him about cheating was already wrong?

Is he taking advantage of me knowing that I trust him so much or is he doing nothing wrong and suspicious?

What if it happened again this time? Would I take the pain and jealousy as just nothing because of love I have for him?

What if this would be the day we would have our brea----ARGH!

Few steps left before I reached the storage room when I sighed many times. Without knocks, I abruptly opened the door, and there I saw the two of them.

My boyfriend with just an ordinary girl, kissing each other. I cussed. What made me more mad was if it's not through the blag sound of the door, they would not notice me right away that I was already standing in front of them.

"HOW DARE YOU!" I shout loudly, madly and hysterically, as I run towards them. The first thing I did was to blew my boyfriend with my fist on his chest for many times. He kept on saying sorry while he was trying to control my punches.

"Please stop, Alesha. We're so sorry," said by this ordinary girl whose beauty was nothing to be compared by mine. I wonder how my boyfriend got attracted by this trash? A low-class, petite and nothing?

"YOU, TRASH GIRL!" I shouted next after I pulled out her hair. I really clutched my fingers to her scalp so that she would really feel the ache.

"Ouch, that hurts. Please stop, Alesha!"

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT HUH? YOU REALLY ARE A BITCH!" With so much anger I shouted at her just to let her feel that I was in the midst of my anger and jealousy. "YOU'RE KISSING WITH MY BOYFRIEND, CAN'T YOU REALIZE THAT?! HOW COULD YOU KNOW ME WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND?! HUH?!"

"Alesha, don't hurt her. Please. I'm begging you."

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed out loud against him. "YOU'RE BEGGING NOT TO HURT HER WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW I AM ALSO HURT MORE THAN WHAT SHE FEELS NOW!"

I walked so fast while I was still pulling out this ordinary girl's hair. Yes, I was emphasizing the word 'ordinary' because that's what perfectly described her. Due to my anger, I wanted to bring her in a public place where many students can know and witness what I'm doing with this bitch and what she did.

"Hey, look at Alesha! She got troubled with."

"Come on guys, let's see what will happen."

"Whoa, I got really intrigued by this."

In front of many people, I slapped her face after I let go of her hair. I slapped her many times while my cheated boyfriend was controlling me. I lately realized due to my anger, she's already sobbing.

"Stop it, Alesha! Don't make a scene here! You really show to them that you are scandalous!"

"Are you telling that to me as if you did not cheat again with this ORDINARY girl?! I caught both of you kissing each other! How dare you cheat me like that?!"

"I'm sorry. We can talk about that, not to the point you would go here, in front them."

"Why? Are you now ashamed of your act?" Then I laughed so hard that at the end of my laughter, I already found myself crying.

"Why did you do that to me huh? Where did you find the guts to cheat on me?" I then pushed him away many times while punching him until I got tired of doing it.

"Right now, tell me! So that I will know the truth from you!" I demanded. He looked at my eyes with such pity and regrets in it. "Is my love not enough? Or you're not just contented with me?"