THE OLD ME BACK

Chapter 31

"Why did you do that?!" Thea asked hysterically. She got to drink her beer because of shock, but I could see that she tried her best to be still at her composure. "I thought you really want to get back to him. You really wasted the chance, don't you?"

I picked up the beer that's on the table. Before I drank it to make the bottle full empty, I looked at her while I was trying to figure out her genuine intentions. Remembering for what she said back then, she was the one who urged me to date with other guys and broke Hanky's heart.

"Maybe I've wasted the chance, but I think I made the right decision not to get it right with him right away," I managed to answer after I drank the remaining beer in a bottle. I did not know how many bottles already I have drunk, but every time my hand could hold another bottle, my tongue wanted to taste the liquor again and again.

"So what's your plan? You said the other day that you could not anymore break the last guy in the Boylight. What's his name again if you wouldn't mind?"

"Den--denzel? I'm not sure of his name," I replied and bowed my head. If I was thinking right, her voice was already an echo to my ears because we're already drunk. "And you said it right, I want to stick to our agreement between me and Banjo. The trap for his closest friend was already cancelled."

"Mark that, bitch. We may never know we might hear the news on the next day that you still continue the trap," then she laughed hard together with her friends.

No, I would not do that anymore. I realized that even if I broke all guys' hearts, it would not equally pay the pain that I felt. I invested emotions to him, while my trap for them was just a fling that they could easily move on. Even though I got already changed just like what my best friend said about me, I still knew how to stick to the agreement.

"You can think of it again, bitch. You can still continue your trap while getting right with Hanky, right?"

"Thanks, but I would rather choose to be still single even if Hanky would kneel down in front of me," I managed myself to stand right away from the couch, so I felt dizzy doing that. Thea's friends held my arms right away if ever I got out of balance. "No, just let me. I can still manage myself. I'm sorry but I have to go home now. It's already 11."

We're still in the Hideout Bar, hearing rock music playing together with the chitchats and cheers of people when I decided to step away. I tried to lift up my head but I did not think it would be better for me to do that because of drunkenness. So I bowed down while I was walking away from our table.

I was at the facade of Hideout Bar, waiting for a taxi to pass by, when one stopped right in front of me. Directly, I got inside and told the driver my address where he should fetch me. He started the engine afterwards, so while we're on our way home, I leaned my head on the window for a while because of dizziness. I never expected that I would get back to that bar again for a reason that I wanted to express out everything inside of me while someone's listening. The liquor really did a great job in taking the shame away for me to tell everything that seemed so burden.

I got home quarter to 12, so even if I was drunk, I really climbed on the wall near the back door in order for me to get in. Good thing that everyone's sleeping already because the lights in the living room were already off, not until I stepped on the upstairs.

"Where have you been, Sha?"

Nervousness hit me hard that I should keep myself still calm. It's my big sis, so I traced where her voice came from.

"In my classmate's house. We just finished our group work."

"You've been home very late lately," my big sis commented. But I continued my steps upstairs.

"I'm tired," that's what I responded before I got inside my room. Argh! Why was she so intruder?

I laid on my bed directly. It's already midnight and I had to sleep because I was drunk, tired and felt sick, but here I was, widely awake. Changing my sleep positions, it didn't work though. Many thoughts were actually running through my mind. They're haunting me. I don't know, but a tear suddenly let out from my eyes.

I could not understand myself. Really. There were times that I don't want to get back to him but in some instances, I regretted the decision I made. I wondered why I decided that way when I could accept him already to make things not became complicated.

Tomorrow morning, I felt dizzy and the hangover was already in me. When I checked the time, it's already 7. So I hurriedly got up from my bed but I abruptly leaned my hand on the wall because the dizziness arose.

My gosh! My morning routines were already in line. I really had to move!

"You're late Ms. Dizon," my teacher commented in the middle of the discussion. Yes, I was late for almost half hour but I still continued my steps towards my chair. "This is the first time you did this. Remember, you're in the top list."

"I'm sorry, Sir." While bowing my head and finally got on my seat, I expectedly heard murmurs from my classmates about me. They were wondering what happened to me lately, what's wrong in me and if I did really have problems in life that I could not handle with.

But I just ignored them all.

During break time, I decided to be at the cafeteria alone. Ahead of me were Hanky, Zack and Kurt who were walking together. They're not talking to one another because I could not hear a voice from any of them. I heaved then a sigh as they went to the right pavement to the leisure room to meet the other members of the group. As I stepped on the cafeteria, I saw Leana who was just done ordering food and now holding the food tray. We did not agree about eating together but she did not even wait for me if ever we would eat together by chance. She had already her buddy for food. I got jealous by that. So I ignored her all the time I was in the cafeteria. After eating alone, I was heading back to our room. To my surprise, the whole boy group was already in front of me, few meters away, so I composed myself right and acted as if I didn't see them. There were many students passing by too, anyway.

Relieving myself for I was able to pass them by without any foolish thing I did, my feet suddenly stopped from walking when someone called me by my name.

"Alesha?" He uttered my name again, so I turned my head to him. Suddenly, I got a thorn on my throat when I saw him standing.

"Hey, Denzel! Come over here!" Winster shouted, and the other members turned behind to figure out what's happening.

"Yes?" I asked this guy, but he just walked closer to me. Wait, was he walking closer...oh no! No way.

"Get back to them, Denzel," Hanky intervened as he walked towards us and set him aside. Transferring my sight to Hanky, we both stared at each other until I realized he's already in front of me in a very close distance.

"You're still mine, Alesha," he said those words as if owning a property. I did really like how he said that, and without my consent, he abruptly kissed me in front of them.

Very aggressively.