THE OLD ME BACK

Chapter 14

"Why are you doing this to me?"

He turns his head to me when I ask him that question. He sighs afterwards. When I hear no response from him, I gulp and look away. I divert my attention back to the overview of the campus of Royale HS.

We're currently on the rooftop of the Senior High Building. Sitting down at the edge of the rooftop, the air breeze that passes through in this area comforts me and calms myself. He brought me here when I was already hysterical in the hallway because of my anger. I was forced due to his threat that he would announce in the hallway that I'm his girlfriend if I would not come with him.

"Tell me, why are you doing this to me? Why did you start this when you see me having more time alone? Are you taking advantage of me?"

"No, it's not that," he answers quickly. I hear him sighing out. What I notice next is, he looks away from me. "I want to be actually good to you the moment you encounter me but I have no idea I would appear to be a disturbance to you."

When he looks back at me, I can see his eyes with too much sincerity. There's nothing I can infer from the way how he looks at me but just the sadness in it. I gulp. He's telling it seriously that even me don't want to take it.

"I'm sorry for being a disturbance to you," he adds on, and gives me a plain smile after a while. "I just really want to make sure you are fine becau---"

"I'm not. If you want to know the truth, I'm not fine. Not totally fine!" He stops talking right away when I insert to speak up. "What is it to you now if I already told you what you are concerned about? Huh?"

"Just your being fine is already my accomplishment everyday. I can already find my little success whenever I see you're fine. Now that you told me you're not, then I failed for how many days that I'm with you and it hurts me inside."

"Don't you ever say those words as if you really know me about my whole. Don't act as if we've known to each other for a very long time." I say those words with emphasis and full of emotions.

He bows his head for a moment, and when he lifts his head up to me, our eyes cross each other again while I can really feel his sincerity.

"We're not close, yeah, because you have just known my name and nothing else, but there's someone like me who will choose to be with you whatever you are up to, whatever changes you want to go through."

Gosh, I really hate this guy! I don't want his sincerity while he's talking with me now.

"Alesha, I'm sorry for being a disturbance to you when actually my intention is to let you know that there is someone who cares for you even if you don't want perhaps anyone to. It may be not convincing for you but I want to prove it through my actions. That's why as much as I can, I want to protect you from all those who want to do bad against you, most especially that master. I wanted you to know that even if maybe you choose to be alone, there's someone who is just there for you, even if you don't know him. I'm just here, Alesha. I can still be there with you as much as my heart dictates me to."

He excuses himself afterwards. I am left here with the words he has just said. I never expect that our conversation would be that deep. His sincere words, the way how he looked at me, the seriousness of his face, and the way how he delivered those lines in order for me to be persuaded, are all combined to change my impressions on him.

Few days have passed, and the same routines I did every single day. Going to school by just walking, attending my class, going to the library during break time and going on my way home to the apartment by walking again. Of all these things I mentioned, he's always there, sometimes late, but I can see in my peripheral vision that he's just there. I don't want to notice him, or mind him as well. I just let him do what he desires to do as long as he doesn't physically bother me. At the other side of my mind, I'm just waiting for a day that he will get tired of chasing me.

"Hey, you look familiar," my boardmate suddenly utters in the midst of silence. He's stirring his coffee while I'm eating pancit canton when he looks at me upon saying those words.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?" I ask as if am really innocent, though I know he might familiarize me at this moment. What I did tonight was to tie my curly hair and plan not to wear my eyeglasses.

"Maybe you just look similar to her," he says again after he drinks his coffee. I don't know if I would get relieved by this. He's just so silent then that even if we have our dinner at the same time just like now, still, no one does initiate to speak.

This small apartment is already considered to be my home even if I have spent here just three weeks yet. As my temporary home, I was used to have someone to talk with just like in our home few kilometers away from here. I miss talking with my mom and dad, most especially my big sister, those moments we were having fun with one another. But as of now, no other options lies ahead but to embrace my reality. I'm here in this little apartment with my boardmate who is very talkative, well in its opposite.

"I hear some people said that to me," in a delay I still manage to respond so that our conversation won't end. I really just want to feel that I have someone to talk with in my temporary home. I look at him again while he's savoring the aroma. "Who do you think I am similar with?"

He smiles a bit though there's a little sadness behind it.

"I don't want to mention her name for confidentiality. But you know what, I admired her a lot. She's my idol, but it got changed when she went beyond everyone's limit."