THE OLD ME BACK

Chapter 30

"Why did you go to that club again, Aleha?" My mom greeted me with that question. The way she asked me that had the combination of curiosity and madness. By that, my consciousness got abruptly awakened. I started to feel nervousness before I got to be able to sit down in a dining table. "Tell me, Alesha. What's wrong with you? You went home late last night with those girls you never introduced me to. Who are those huh?"

"I'm sorry, mom," that's what I only uttered in order for me not to tell the whole story. I didn't even look at my mom's eyes which I would suppose to do it to convince her. While putting the fried rice from a huge bowl to my plate, my dad suddenly intervened.

"Don't do it again, Alesha. Can we hope for that?" He asked, and I nodded.

"What if you would do it again?" My mom asked me, trying to assure of my nod.

"Stop it now, hon," my dad said. "I knew it was just a peer pressure after all. Like any other teenagers, they go weighing in which one they should do. Alesha is turning eighteen few months from now. She can already think and decide of her own."

"But hon, it doesn't mean she can already decide of her own, she would do everything now she wants. I knew it's also her will why it happened that way. She chose to do it."

My parents had the opposition of ideas and both were trying to persuade which one should be believed in. I just remained silent after directly eating my breakfast with them. My appetite got lost all of a sudden so I excused myself from them. Afterwhich, I went to the car to fetch me to school. Upon getting out of my car when the driver parked the car near the school, I was shocked for what I saw in front of me.

"Alesha, can we talk?"

"What are we gonna talk about?" I asked. He's looking at me as if I could be gotten him by his sight, so I looked away.

"About us. I know you still love me," he said that, convincing me that he's right. I turned my eyes back to him with the words he said.

"What are you trying to prove?" I asked again, but instead of responding to my question, he walked closer to me while his eyes never darted to somewhere but just only to me.

"There's still a chance to be an us again, Alesha. I must admit I mingled with other girls while you were with the other Boylight, but my heart is still for you even they gave me happiness but just temporary. I still love you, please believe in that."

I heaved a sigh and acted as if I was really going to check my wristwatch.

"I'm getting late. Don't we have a class at this very hour?"

"I've been waiting here for almost an hour for you. I knew that your car has not arrived yet so I wait here even if it took long. Can you risk your time for me this time?"

"Why would I do that? Do you think you're still worthy of my time?"

"Don't do this, Alesha. I'm asking from you to give a little time to talk about it. If you are thinking of the hurt you felt from me, you also broke my heart then, so you should not act as if you're the only one who got hurt between the two of us."

I took a deep breath and still managed to smile.

"Fine. I've hurt you too. Then what is that for? What do you want to imply to me?" I rolled my eyes afterwards. He's starting to get into my nerves, seriously.

"We can forgive each other. We can start again," he said that made me look at him straight. "We can still have an us. Though I was drunk last night, I knew you were in the club. Yes, I was drunk, but I could still remember how you fought with the girl just for me. I didn't expect you would go there."

"Yes! It's all because of you! I came there and became drunk because of you! It's also because of you why I made a trouble with that girl! Yes! I did all those crazy things because of you! Do you know why?"

"Because you still love me?"

"Yes! I do still love you! I still have this stupid feelings for you  when I should have already moved on! And this is your fault! It's all your fault!" I pushed him on his chest and I punch it many times. "It's all your fault! It's all yours! I can't do these things when you didn't start a thing that made me do it!"

"Stop now, Alesha. It's already done. It happened already. And I'm so sorry." He said that while he's trying to calm me.

"I hate you! I really hate you! What is in you that makes me still love you huh?!"

He smirked then that made me getting more mad.

"Don't smirk that way! I'm dead serious here!" My voice got louder as he could not help himself but to act as if serious.

"No, I know you are. I'm just happy because you just told me now that you still love me," he's smiling while he's about to fall his tears. No way he would cry in front of me. "I thought you don't love me anymore. I'm afraid to know the truth that you don't love me already because to tell you honestly, I do still love you even if you caused me many heartbreaks."

"You knew me well, Hanky. I can't hurt a person without a valid reason."

He's holding now my hands as I got tired of punching on his chest. "Yeah, I knew that. And I lately realized that thing. It's my fault in the first place why you did that all."

"Exactly. That's why it's not so easy to get it right with you because you don't even know the impact you did it to me."

I urged myself to move my hand freely from his.

"Alesha..."

Shaking my head as disapproval, I stepped backwards and turned behind.

"Alesha, please."

I gulped and heaved a sigh.

Gosh. What a tough decision to make while stepping away from him when the half part of me has already decided to get it right now with him.

This is what I want after all, right? I don't know, but at some point I had to choose pride over love now.

"Alesha! Please come back to me! Please!"