THE OLD ME BACK

Chapter 44

"Wait for me. Hey!" He shouts repeatedly, but I don't turn behind. By continuously walking after coming out from the apartment, I step ahead faster than I usually do, just to avoid this annoying guy. "Could you please wait?"

How small the world is, that we are now board mates. Up to this moment, he's following me as if I desire to close with him. But no, I'm already getting near to what I'm expecting for myself. It's already near that a little thing remains in me should be fixed and everything will be all right. Besides, I know how to stick to the agreement that Banjo and I had. No way I could break it if I knew I could do better way than the immature one.

"I must thank myself I can walk a little bit faster than you," he utters again after walking beside me now. Though my sight is just set ahead of me, I can see in my peripheral vision how glad he is to be on my side already. "You know what, we can jog if you want to. That's a way of exercising ourselves so that we won't get lazy."

"I'm not feeling lazy, okay?" I clear thing out.

"Feeling lazy to speak," then he laughs as if there's no tomorrow that will come next. I stare at him for a while before I set my eyes again to the way ahead. How could he joke around when he sees me right now that I'm so serious?

"I'm not in a good mood to speak," I say in a boredom tone. "I can let you walk beside me but don't bother me, okay? Don't talk to me either."

I hear him sighing out as he tries to steal glances from me. "But can I speak here like I have someone talking with? Don't you worry, I don't require you to reply."

Wanting myself to turn to him as I would like to understand why he is doing this, I rather choose to look ahead because I don't want to see his smile in the midst of my seriousness here.

"Fine." I shortly reply while walking still. I take a deep breath, getting myself ready for what he will speak up next.

"This morning, I realize that I could ride my motorcycle in order for me to get early at school. But since you are used to walking, I choose not to use it just to accompany you." I see him stealing glances again from me but my sight is still ahead of us.

Argh, what does he try to imply? Does he think I would appreciate him for the decision he made.

"I want to be with the girl who rather chooses to be silent even if I knew she's so talkative. My morning will really brighten up because I know I'm walking with her right now. This girl chooses to walk though she can commute. How amazing she is, right?"

"How do you find it amazing huh?"

"Oh, why did you react? I said don't reply, just listen."

I narrow my sight on him as I want to see him my reaction that I'm not enjoying of his company. Gosh, he's ruining my day!

"I like how she chooses to be alone despite the idea of mingling with others. But sometimes, how she settles to be alone makes me afraid. Just like now, she wants to be alone again but I choose to insist myself just to accompany her."

I gulp for what I hear from him. I want to react again but to keep myself unreactive, I sigh out and rather look at the view of the seaside as we're getting through the boulevard.

That's his fault of choosing to accompany me. After all, I don't require him to be like this. He just really makes the situation so awkward.

"Her simplicity makes me feel more in love with her. She is really gorgeous when she really fixes herself up, but she chooses to be the way she wants to be. She's still gorgeous, anyway. As for me, nothing has changed by that."

"Could you please stop now?!" I shout at him all of a sudden which both of us quickly stopped from walking ahead. "You're talking nonsense."

"Believe me it's true," he states while looking at my eyes.

"Whatever. I don't care," words that automatically come out from my mouth. Good thing that's what I want to say to him because I don't want to force myself to be nice when I should not be for a reason. He's really annoying, so insistent, so immature, so insensitive, so--ARGH! He's such a trying hard person, doesn't he aware of that?!

"You make me fall in love more with you because you're such a strong person. I wonder how you handle such stress and anxiety due to the problems you encounter."

"That's what you only thought but you're mistaken." His smile fades out quickly when I say this. "You don't know what I'm still going through. You don't have any idea how I try to get myself up every time I decide to give up every single day."

"In that way you're so strong because you still choose not to give up," he says that makes me heave a sigh.

"I wish I really was." Then we part our ways now as I take the longer path. I never notice that we already arrive at our school. By grabbing the opportunity not to talk too much about it because it hurts me, I choose to part way from him. He even tries to go back and follows me still but I glare at him which stops him to do so.

I wish I was a strong one but I'm not, just trying to be. This feeling when I know I need to give up already but I'm still fighting on the same battle. It's a cycle, more likely going back and to in the middle of my opposite desires. It came to a point that I'm stuck in the middle, and choose to be still at because I'm already confused.

Gosh, I don't want to over think again. It makes me crazy.

"Hey, you. Stop."

He clutches my blouse and blocks the way. When he smirks after, that makes me get irritated. I abruptly fix my eyeglasses to get it steady and compose myself right in front of this student acting as if a master.

"You really are a mysterious. But hey, we already know the truth...you are the famous Alesha from St. Jude."

He grins like he wins something in a game. Buy what? What did he say?! How come he knows that?!

"I don't know what you're talking about." Acting uninterestedly, my feet start to step ahead on the space he has not blocked, but he grabs my arm suddenly that creates force to look at him again.

"Admit it, you are. A girl known to be a heartbreaker and a flirt there."

He goes below the belt that due to out of my control, I slap his face so hard. To my surprise, someone comes in to punch him right away.

"Don't you ever say that to my future girlfriend okay?!"