OOP SURPRISEEEEE. AH I COULD NOT WAIT ANY LONGER TO POST THIS CONTINUED PART. I LOVE THIS STORYYY AND I LOVE ALL OF OUR DISCUSSIONS. - A 💋 ••••• Cairo. | ❄️
Lonely Child by NBA YoungBoy blasted from Cairo's speaker's as he sat up against his wall, blowing out the smoke he inhaled.
I say, mama, I'm so sorry I got ice burned where my heart at On the road where I had it hard at How I'm chosen? I'm so heartless, so, so heartless I ain't know my age, he was 16, they killed Lil Dave Mind in a rage, I'm way too young to feel this pain I ain't know how to fade, but I dove in 'cause I'm a man I love that girl to death, as we get old, our feelings change I pay for therapy because my thoughts ahead of me They keep on draggin' me, I play for keeps, they scared of me I cannot barely, can barely sleep or even breathe I cannot hold on without you on side of me
He shook his head as he cuffed his head thinking about every emotion he was feeling. "I'm just a lonely child who wants someone to help him out, oh, oh, ah, ah. Take this pain away, this pain away, because my head been runnin' wild, wild." He rapped along to the song, placing the blunt back in his mouth.
It's been a week since he's seen or heard from Winter and it only fucked him up more. Why couldn't he just cut her off like the rest? Why couldn't he just forget about her?
They wouldn't understand the pain he was feeling. How everything just hit the fan completely shook him. Could you believe he slept downstairs with hopes of catching her when she came back.
But everyday and night he waited and she didn't. He had fucked up and he felt like it was all his fault.
Maybe it was all his fault. He knew from the moment he laid eyes on Winter that she was different. She was untouchable.
By untouchable he meant that she was worth so much, he wouldn't touch her. He felt like everything he touches goes to shit, and this situation only proved him right.
She was too good for him. All these years he's reminded himself of that. He just wanted to keep her safe, he wanted to protect.
But in the end he couldn't even protect her from him.
Tears began pouring down his face as the memory of her body laid passed out in the driveway filled his mind, he shut his eyes tightly. He had came home from work and found her laid out by the front door. He was so scared she was dead because he couldn't find a pulse. He lost his mind that day. Cause he knew if he lost her he was never gone be the same, there was no point in living without her. From that moment he vowed to keep his feelings for her away. It scared him how big of a control she had over his body, because had Winter died, he would've too. Imagine loving somebody so much you would die for them? He's never felt that way and thought of it forced him to ignore his feelings.
Like what kind of shit is that? He scoffed at the thought of it, blowing out the smoke.
He rather be with somebody he could breathe with. He couldn't even breathe properly around Winter. A love like that was scary.
Another memory flooded his mind making him smile softly. Winter had gotten her wisdom teeth taken out and the whole time she was drugged up and he was taking care of her, she kept singing dangerously in love to him and telling him how much she loved him and that she wanted to have all his babies and that she wanted to grow old with him.
More tears fell but he quickly wiped them away, sniffling. "I ain't about to cry over this girl God. I can't. Just get her out my head."
His head fell back against the wall as he stared at the ceiling. "Like I know I fucked up, but could you please stop torturing me? Just make me forget about her, I can't allow myself to fall man. She's going to ruin me. I can't take the possibility of her breaking my heart. My heart been broke enough g."
Cairo was so frustrated he started talking out loud to the Lord.
"Like you know what I been through, why even do me like this? I tried to ignore it, I even went as far as distancing myself and getting a girlfriend. But no none of that mattered in the end huh? I was gone be left heartbroken regardless. I never knew a girl could have this big of a hold over me. I'm not crazy but I gotta be losing my mind. Like make it make sense god?"
"Why can't I just keep something good in my life? We were so perfect as best friends, why risk what we had for the possibility of a relationship not working out? I cherish her too much to even care about my own happiness. I had to make her think I didn't care because despite how hard I fought myself, I wanted her to have that strength to walk away. I'm good if she's good and if leaving me will make her happy then so be it ya know?" He shrugged, placing he blunt back in his mouth inhaling, exhaling shortly after. "What's the point of this love shit if it hurts so much?"
He finished off the blunt and put it out, leaving it in the ashtray. I don't know by YoungBoy blasted in the background now and he sighed softly.
"Just do one thing for me big man, cause I know I don't ask for much. Watch over her for me, and take away her worries and pain for me. Fill her heart and life with love, happiness, and laughter. Somehow let her know that I'm sorry and I do love her. I'm gone respect her wishes, I swear on my life I am. I just need her to know I'm always ready to go to war for her. She too good for this world, I don't deserve her. I never meant to hurt her... I never meant to be the cause of her pain. I tried my hardest to be everything she needed, but in the end maybe it wasn't enough. Please make sure she keeps her head up, stay focused, and eat. Baby girl a game changer, and she deserve every blessing coming her way. That's all I need God."
•••••• End of 6 frfr. Part 7 otw.
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Goodnight, no more updates tonight.
This is added onto last chapter, so just keep the comments and likes flowing. Appreciate you all 💕🤞🏾
