Roxy

chapter 19: Your brother

"what are we waiting for?! Let's go kill him! He can't get away with this! He-"

"I am not telling you" he deadpanned and turned to face me with a smile on his lips.

"What?" My voice bearly a whisper. He sighed and removed the cigarette from his lips.

"I don't see the point. He only had a problem with your dad and he got what he wanted by killing him. What's done is done" he said.

My blood immediately starts to boil. How dare he say that! He was his freaking older brother! I mean it was obvious uncle John never liked my dad. But dad always loved him, cherished him... He was family.

"He was your brother, he loved you." I said with pure anger and bitterness. He snorted at what I said and stood up walking towards me.

I am not going to lie, uncle John's a pretty intimidating guy. His muscular form visibly showing underneath his black Armani suit. He was at least 7 ft tall, he was taller than my dad.

But if my dad is to stand next to Uncle John, you would be more scared of my dad. Something about my dad radiates power and authority. His posture and composure demands fear and respect.

And the scary part is that he doesn't even try.

I never felt intimidated by him, he was my dad for Christ sake. He always taught me how to stand tall with your head held up high no matter the situation. And so that is exactly what I am doing.

It took him three long strides to reach the other side of the office, where I stand with no sign of emotion. I can tell he is trying everything within his power to scare me, but that's not going to work.

He is now standing only an inch away from me. He tilted his head downwards to look at me while I tilted mine upwards.

"A brother that owns the freaking drug world that I have craved. A brother that had the eyes and hearts of my parents and everyone I loved. A brother that took everything I ever wanted. A brother that stole the love of my life" he growled at my face.

I felt a pang at my heart at the last one. It's no secret to me that my mom was my in fact the love of my uncle's life. She was his girlfriend at first, but without warning she fell in love with my dad. And my dad fell in love with her.

But my dad never intended on taking uncle John's girlfriend. He kept his distance from her, but there was no denying that his heart beat for her. When uncle John realized this he became furious.

But he made the greatest mistake by hitting my mom. And that led to a fist fight between my dad and uncle John, until my grandparents stopped them and told uncle John how much of a disappointment he was.

That was what broke him.

My dad took everything he always craved for. The love of those he loved.

He ran away from them and built this mansion far away from them. He has been living here ever since.

My dad tried to reconcile with him. But little did he know that there was nothing to reconcile with.

That's why my siblings and I are always afraid of coming here. We are the constant reminder of what he could have had. Of what he always wanted.

Uncle John scoffs at my silence and begins to walk back to his desk, but I finally find the voice to speak.

"But he was still your brother" My voice came out as bearly a whisper.

"Unfortunately" he said not looking at me.

"Please, I have to avenge him. He was my dad. I am not asking for your help, I just want his name. I re-" I stop myself because I know if I continue I will definitely break my promise.

I swallow a lump in my throat as uncle John turns around and looks at me with hard eyes.

"Tell me Roxanna.... Is it because he is family? And it is the duty of a Ferrer to avenge another's death?" He asks in a very intimidating voice.

I nod silently. Even though I know deep down it's partly a lie. It's mostly because I loved him, I loved my mom. And it pains me to the core to know that the man who ordered their murder is still breathing.

Uncle John looks at me intensely before taking a step closer. But his next question he asks takes me completely off guard.

"Would you do the same for me?" He asks with complete venerebility in his voice. My eyes immediately snap to his and all the anger in me washes away.

His eyes held so many emotions. Sadness. Hope. Doubt. Venerebility. Tiredness. And something else I can't describe.

My heart cracks at the sight. The story of uncle John is one of the few things that has ever made me cry. I remember asking my mom why uncle John is so bitter. I remember her telling me everything, from when she first met uncle John to when he last told her he loved her.

And that was the day I was born. Uncle John still loved her after she got married to my dad, when I was born. Does he still love her?

"As bitter as you may be sometimes, your still family" I say, something flashed in his eyes and before I could recognize it, it was gone. He turned away from me and went back to seat in his chair. But what I say next definitely shocked him and myself to be honest.

"And I still love you"

His whole body goes stiff and his eyes go wide before snapping at me.

"What did you say?" He asks, disbelief attached to his voice.

"You may not believe it, but I love you Uncle. Hell, We all do." His jaw visibly clenches at that.

"You have no idea how much it hurt my mom to be the cause of two brothers to be separated." He stood up with such force that makes his chair fall backwards.

"Shut up! She never loved me! She betrayed me!" His voice had pure anger in it, but it didn't make me back down.

"You have no idea how much it hurt my dad to remember that he was constantly taking away everything his little brother loved without realizing until it was too late!" I say as he throws every single thing on his desk.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"You have no idea how much it hurts to look at you and realize you could have been my father!" I say and my heartbeat escalates to a new level. Defeat washes all over uncle John's features.

"But I am not" he said in a weak voice I have never heard him. "When you were born, I rushed to the hospital to see you and your mom. I was so happy when I saw you. Hell, happiness was an understatement" he said and my heart cracks even more.

His eyes snap to mine and that's when I realized his eyes were bright red. "Your mom gave you to me. I carried you in my arms, I played with you, I sang you a freaking lullaby. And in my happiest moment with you, your dad walked in. And that's when I remembered..... you weren't mine"

I start shaking all over and fall to the floor. I have no idea what is wrong with me, my heart feels like it is about to get ripped out of my chest. My eyes feel itchier than ever, I can't help but blink fast.

Tears spill from Uncle John's eyes. I bring my knees to my chest and hold them tight.

"I just broke a promise you know" he says in a low voice and I look at him with furrowed eyebrows. "That I will never cry"

My eyes widen and my heart stopped at that and I did the only reasonable thing I could do.

I ran away.