Roxy

chapter 22: True feelings

                   ( Belinda's P. O. V)

My heart was beating faster than it has ever done. We entered the creepy tunnels and I felt like I might squeeze the little child in my hands to death.

Raelynn, I have come to learn is her name is indeed a breath of fresh air. Ever since these six lovely children have come to live with us, I felt joy in my heart. It gave me the sense that I get to take care of children. Children I never had.

Even though they are the children of my worst enemy. Yes, you heard correct. My worst enemy.  Maria Ferrer.

She had everything I ever wanted and the one thing I truly desired. John's heart.

John. The light of my day. The air that I breathe and my true reason to live. Before I started working for him twenty years ago, my life was complete crap.

My father died of lung cancer. My mother called me the spun of Satan and threw me out of the house. All my friends abandoned me and I was left on the streets.

But that was until John came in to my life. He was my hero, my savior, my everything. I was on the streets covered in mud in front of an old bar when he found me.

I remember it like yesterday, he was drunk at the time he found me. He offered me a drink and we got drunk together.

He told me he was heartbroken, that the love of his life was stolen by his own brother. You could literally feel the betrayal he felt radiating of him.

My heart ached for him. At the time I didn't know why, but seeing him in so much pain was the worst thing I ever experienced in my life.

I told him about my parents and that I had nowhere else to go. He offered to give me a place to stay and food, if I worked for him and met certain needs.

At the time, I really didn't care what needs he meant because I was starving, so I accepted. That night he took the only thing I truly had. My virginity.

Once he woke up the next day, he immediately regreted what he had done. He said it was a mistake and apologized. Something flashed in his eyes that made me cringe. It was disgust.

My heart broke at the sight. He never touched me again ever since that night. A couple occasions he would come back home drunk. Being the foolish girl that I am, I would see it as an opportunity for me to get closer to him.

But sadly life is a bitch and it backfired. Instead of getting closer to him, he would blabber all about how amazing Maria was and how they would have been happy together.

I cried the whole night. Maria. Maria. Maria. Who the hell is this woman?

Unfortunately for me I got the opportunity of meeting her in the most embarrassing situation.

It was Maria's second children's first birthday. I think....

The twins Rolland and Ronan, if I remember correctly. John decided to take me with him, at first I thought it would be because he wanted to spend time with me.

But I was wrong as always, he just wanted to make Maria jealous or something like that. John made me wear a dress that was way too tight, and was obviously not appropriate for a children's birthday party.

When we got to the party, John ditched me at some point, so I had to fend for myself. I was walking around when I tripped and my dress got torn. I was so embarrassed.

I thought that John would never want to take me out again if he saw me. I was such an embarrassment.

But then a very beautiful lady helped me. She was very beautiful, she had the body of a Goddess and heart of an Angel. She had deep blue eyes and jet black long hair that reached her waist. She had a smile that could bring men to their knees. I envied her beauty.

She gave me a new dress that was more my size and more beautiful than the one I was wearing before. At first I couldn't accept it but she was so stubborn, and couldn't take no for an answer, so I thanked her and she later left.

When I found John, he was surprised by the dress I was wearing but he didn't ask to many questions, and I was thankful. I wasn't ready to tell him what happened to the first dress.

He later introduced me to Mr. Alessandro Ferrer. He was indeed a very handsome man. He had the eyes of steel and an aura that screamed power and respect. I am not going to lie, it was really hot. But my heart beated for another.

He was carrying one of the twins in his arms and holding a little girl's hand in the other. The girl was so cute, she looked familiar....

Then a woman came holding the other twin and my breath hitched when I saw who she was. It was the angel that helped me. Maria Ferrer.

After that night, I never wanted to see her again. Whenever they came to visit John, I would stay at a corner and try to go unnoticed.

Even though I claim to hate her, a part of me doesn't. What made me feel that way was because I kept the dress she gave me from that night. It was the most beautiful thing in my closet. And it always reminded  me of the woman I envy the most is an angel.

When I heard about her death, what I did definitely surprised me. I cried.

I couldn't say I truly hated her. I idoled her. She was everything I ever wanted to be. That's why when her children came over I made sure to take care of them myself.

Especially Raelynn. She is the spitting image of her mother. I adore this child that I carry in my hands, and I would do anything to protect her.

And as for John. For many years I have lived with him. Cleaning, accompanying, comfort him. At times I would get injured while doing something and he would treat me and scold me about how careless I was and that I should be more careful.

The times he would do that, it would make me think that maybe he does love me. But then he would come home drunk as always and talk about Maria. It hurts that he never realized how much I love him. And he probably never will.

We made it to the back of the compound where five helicopters were stationed. Four of them were loaded with armed men carrying big guns.

The sight brought me to a complete halt. I'm not going to lie, I felt like I'm about to die at that moment. John must have noticed me stop because he turned around concerned. He walked up to me and held my bicep.

The contact brought fireworks in my body as he looked into my eyes. Raelynn was in the middle of the both of us and it kind of annoyed me. But nevertheless she is still an angel.

"It's okay, I know you're afraid. But this will all be over soon. I won't let anything happen to you" he reassured me.

My heart fluttered at what he said. And I felt butterflies in my stomach. But then he pulled away and started walking towards the helicopter and I immediately felt cold and empty.

I followed him to the free helicopter as he helped the children to get on.

"Aren't you getting in?" I asked and he shook his head.

"No. I have to go back for Roxanna." He said and I started panicking. He can't go in there it's too dangerous!

"But she said she would meet us here, remember?" I said not hiding the panic in my voice.

"There's a sixteen year old girl and and a fifteen year old boy in the middle of a shootout. And those kids just so happened to be my niece and nephew. I can't just leave them there" oh. But you would leave me?

"But-"

"Get in, Belinda" he said with authority. I couldn't help the tears that started flowing from my eyes. He has absolutely no idea the emotional pain he is causing me.

I silently got into the helicopter and he closed the side door. I watched as he pulled out his gun and entered the other helicopter filled with armed men.

Your not getting away from me that easily.