The Oasis and The Island

Chapter 32 - Lalisa Manoban-Kim

I was scared to death. I still am, but I can't tell her. I can't tell her that every time she shows the slight sight of pain, my heart freezes. The fear is so real and it scares me deeply. But I can't tell her. I can't tell her because I need to be fucking strong. For the sake of both of us. I really don't want to think about this, but it is eventually on my mind. I feel so protective of her, but I can't be all over her. I've heard her complaining about it over and over. First her father, then Sowon. And Rosé. I don't want to do their mistakes, but I got to admit how hard this is. I want to protect her from everyone and everything.

But when she looks at me with those puppy eyes, pleading me to touch her the way she wants, I feel defeated. Sex with Jennie is the best thing in the world, but lately is also something that terrifies me. I know I can't deny her anything, but at the same time I'm not willing to put her in any risk. So I try to find a compromise. That's how things with Jennie have always worked out.

Her eyes shine when she sees me with that strap-on. She has been asking me to use that thing again, but I have been stalling. I need to remind myself that I have to be gentle with her. Every time we have sex, I feel more insecure. I don't show her this, I can't. Because she will be mad and make a stupid speech about her not been made of glass, and that sex is very health for pregnant women. I know all of that, but it's not enough to make me relax.

But today is our honeymoon, I know how special this is, even though we are at our house and not in some romantic trip to a very overrated place. We've been to many places lately, so we both agreed that this was enough. Be with each other is enough.

I don't know how she manages to be cute and sexy at the same time, but this is just another trait of Jennie Kim I know and love so much. Well, Jennie Manoban-Kim. I love to have my name on hers. And I love to have her name on mine. It makes us feel more like a family.

Her mouth in hanging open in the most adorable way. I go to the bed and I keep myself on my knees while I ask Jennie to choose a position. This is not sexy at all, and maybe I am killing the mood, but I don't fucking care. I want to make her happy, and if she wants something more intense, it's that what I'm giving her. She lies on her side and I make an attempt. It's weird and I can't have any traction on the bed. Be on her back is out of the question, because her back can't take this position for too long.

I try to keep the mood light up, making some lame jokes about how I look like a whiteboard of a kinder garden class, and she is laughing about it. She laughed a lot about the whole thing. If she was anyone else I would be offended and fucking mad. But I can't be really mad at Jennie. I even said that in my wedding vows and she probably remembers that, because she was not feeling intimidating at my stares one bit.

"I think this is the one," she says propping herself on her hands and knees, with her ass up in the air.

I never saw her like that and I gulp dry. Jennie must be really horny, God. And I'm so screwed.

I grip on her thighs and I start gentle. I know this new position can make her feel new things, but I was not prepared for the sounds she is making. The last time I heard her moaning and panting like this was on her old house in Minnesota, when she was so mad at me that she complained about the noises I made her produce.

If in the morning she was kind of distracted, now she is so into this. And this kind of scares me.

"Faster, Lis" she says between rough breaths. I do what she wants and she asks for more.

I feel like that day, the first day we had sex, she was extremely demanding and bossy. I wish I could be enjoying this more, I really do. The problem is that my fears are still driving me somehow.