You wanna know why people cut? It's a distraction. It takes them away from their problems. For a few moments your worries don't exist. You don't feel the worry or the loss. You only feel the razor slicing your skin open. Only see your blood ooze its way to the surface. You don't remember being too fat, too annoying, too different. You don't think about your parents fighting, your friends leaving, or failing school. All you truly know is that blood is running over your wrist.
The addicting part? When the pain comes back. When the cut is no longer fresh and once again you feel the building of sadness. You have to cut again, so you tear your skin again, this time going deeper, just to stay numb for a while longer. Just so the pain is delayed for a bit.
As the pain on the inside gradually gets worse, you have to match it. The hurt on the outside has to equal the hurt on the inside. And you keep cutting, and losing the pain. It comes back, and you cut it away.
Control. No matter how hard you try to control the hurt, you can't. But you can control the pain you cause yourself. Because if someone hurt you on the inside, you can control the pain on the outside. It's like a cycle and that cycle ruins all of your hope. That cycle ends hundreds of lives. But once you start it, you can't end it yourself. People don't see you suffering because you hide it too well. No one can look into a smiling face and see the depression. Well guess what? Sometimes it's not about others opinions.
People care, because I don't even know you, and when I see you cutting yourself I feel like it's my fault. Like I could've done something. Please, I'm begging you, find something. Someone you love, a band, a show, a season, and hold onto it.
Stay on this earth for that. You are more than that blade, than the calories, than your thoughts. I love you, and when you think no one cares, I do. When you think about committing suicide, I will be the first to tell you not to. I get so guilty about it. Please, don't make anyone feel that way.
I love you guys.
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SpiritualThis is for those who need inspiration. Words can be powerful. They have the power to save a life, or end a life. So be careful with what comes out of your mouth.
