When Destiny Hits You

Chapter 10

***
Reality is cruel. We can't have what we want nor does what we wish for. Life is full of tragedy.

Im scared that if i get too happy, napakalaking kalungkutan naman ang kapalit. I already said to myself, The less people i care about, the less damage i might cause once i left them.

I only have my family now, and that's enough. Ayokong may ma-attach pa sa'kin na iba because it'll just cause more damage and pain if i unexpectedly left them.

I was up all night kaya maaga akong nagising. Yssa left after breakfast because she said she needs to do something.  I never bothered looking at Rain, I can't even talk to him. I don't know how...

Im currently here in my room, laying down on my bed while staring at the ceiling when Ate Crimson suddenly knocked and came in.

"Rose, are you alright?" Tanong nya.

"Mhm, im fine"

"Is..there something that's bothering you?"

Umayos ako ng upo saka hinarap si Ate Crimson.

"Its about my illness" i said.

"What about it?" tanong nya. She's worried, i know it.

"Ate, you know i have only a year to live." Tumigil ako sandali saka nagpatuloy. "And this is the last year.."

She looked at me seriously before giving off that smile. I know she doesn't want to hear it but it is the painful reality  we have to accept.

"I know that very well.." she said and then gently strokes my hair.

"Hindi mo pa din ba nasasabi kay Rain?" Tanong nya.

"I dont want to hurt him.."

"But you'll hurt him even more if you don't tell him the truth.."

Tumango na lamang ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa sakit ko.

I dont want to hurt his feelings and.I dont want him to get attached because sooner or later, ill leave him.

Iniwan na ako ni Ate Crimson dito sa kwarto ko. Humiga na lamang ako saka ipinikit ang aking mga mata.

Everything feels so heavy... I dont know what's going to happen next.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. Im scared, Im scared of dying...

I only have a year...

Isang taon na lamang ang itatagal ko and ngayong year na to ang last year ko.

***

I spent my whole day yesterday in my room. I didn't go out nor talk to anyone. I was just in my room thinking of all the painful events happening to my life.

"Rose..." Tawag sa'kin ni Rain.

Nakaupo kami ngayon sa available na upuan dito sa ospital. It's my monthly check up today and Rain was the one who accompanied me.

Hinawakan ni Rain ang nanginginig kong kamay kaya naman napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Rose..." tawag ulit niya.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin dahil hindi ko sya kayang titigan ng matagal.

Bigla nya naman akong niyakap ng sobrang higpit.

The tears i was trying to hold back slowly falls down to my cheeks.

I started crying dahil sa iba't ibang rason. Sa nangyayari sa buhay ko..because of my illness.