When Destiny Hits You

Chapter 24

***

2 weeks later

Napasinghap ako ng tumama sa mukha ko ang malamig na tubig galing sa gripo. I stood up straight after washing my face and stared at my own reflection from the mirror above the sink.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim saka pinunasan ang salamin. Dalawang linggo pa lang ang nakakaraan pero ang laki na agad ng pinagbago ko. My face is so pale and I'm so thin. My eyes turned deep and it's as if my face is deteriorating.

I always throw up, washing all the medicines I took. I can no longer eat food because I just always vomit them.  As day goes by, my illness rapidly worsen to the point where I can no longer stand or walk without someone's help. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi maiyak sa tuwing mapapagtanto ko na wala na talagang pag-asa. I'm about to meet my end.

It's just been two weeks when I've learned that my time was running out pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa din maiwasang masaktan lalo na kapag naririnig ko ang mga paghikbi ng mga taong mahal ko sa tuwing inaakala nila na natutulog ako. It's too much pain to take...

"Ayos ka lang ba..?" Tanong ni Yssa habang inaalalayan ako pabalik sa kama ko pagkalabas ko ng banyo.

"Oo naman, ako pa!" Saad ko saka ko sya binigyan ng ngiti.

"Alam kong hindi ka okay, Rose. We might've been friends for a short period of time but I know when you are not fine." Seryoso nyang saad. She's right. Who am I fooling? I know to myself that I'm not really fine.

"Tama ka, I'm not fine. I just can't believe that my time is already running out. Madami pa akong gustong gawin. I have so many dreams that I want to achieve. So many plans for my future na hindi na matutuloy. I know you guys hide the truth to protect me from this pain that I'm feeling and I'm thankful for that but this is my realit. This is my fate that I can't run away from." saad ko saka ko pinilit na ngumiti kahit pa naiiyak na ako.

"i wanted to apologize for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for hiding the fact that yo—" napatigil sya sa pagsasalita. I know she's stopping herself from crying. "Lalabas muna ako." Aniya nang maiupo nya ako sa kama ko. Tumango na lamang ako.

I feel pathetic. Hindi lang kasi ako yung nasasaktan at nahihirapan. Pati mga magulang ko, kapatid ko, kaibigan at maging si Rain nasasaktan din. 

I hate this...

I hate the way they pretend like they were okay when they're in front of me.

I hate their fake smiles.

I hate that they're pitying me.

***

"Hindi bagay sayo ang nakasimangot. Mas maganda ka kapag nakangiti." I looked at Rain who just entered my room.

Whenever I feel lonely, he really never fails to make me feel better.

"I wasn't even pretty to begin with. I mean look at me, I'm getting uglier para na nga akong zombie eh haha." Biro ko sa kanya.

"No matter what your appearance is, in my eyes, you're still the most beautiful woman." Saas nya saka nya ako hinalikan sa noo. Napangiti naman ako dahil sa ginawa nya.

"And we'd spend the rest of our lives together." Dagdag nya pa kaya naman natahimik ako.

I'm a ticking bomb that no one knows when I'll explode. Baka nga bukas or di kaya sa makalawa or worst baka mamaya wala na ako.

"Rain.." mahina kong sambit sa pangalan nya habang abala sya sa pagbabalat ng prutas para sa'kin.

"If I told you that I'm tired..." Panimula ko saka ako huminga ng malalim bago nagpatuloy. "would you let me rest?"

"Anong klaseng tanong yan?" Seryoso nyang saad saka nya inilapag sa mesa yung prutas na binabalatan nya. "Of course I'd let you rest darling. If you're tired, go get some sleep. Babantayan kita."

"Kahit pa..hindi na ako magising?" Tanong ko. He looked at me seriously but I can feel that he's devastated about what I just spouted.

"Tangina Rose naman.. wag ka ngang magbiro ng ganyan!" He cussed but I know he isn't mad.

"I'm tired, Rain." Pagpupumilit ko sa kanya but he just looked at me with his teary eyes.

"Pagod ka lang siguro. Matulog kana, babalik na lang ako mamaya." He said and the  he walked out of my room,slamming the door.

I took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. Alam kong pati sila ay nahihirapan na din. 

I don't want them to hear me crying because I know it pains them to see me like this so I just covered my mouth as I cry silently.

I love them so much that it's at this point that I don't want to leave them. But this is my fate that I've already accepted long time ago. I'm also tired.

I want to rest...

***

"Nagaway ba kayo ni Rain?"

Rinig kong boses ni Ate Crimson na kakapasok lamang ng kwarto ko. Umiling na lang ako saka ngumiti.

"Rose...can you stay with us a little longer?" Umupo sya sa tabi ng kama ko saka nya hinawakan ang kamay ko. "I know it's selfish of me to stay. I know you're tired but please stay... 'wag mo muna iwan si Ate." Saad nya habang tumutulo ang mga luha nya. I know her. I know my sister so well. She rarely cries in front of anyone but when she does.. I t means she's hurt.

"Don't cry.. it pains me more to see you like that." Saad ko habang pinupunasan ang mga luha nya. "Tanggapin na lang natin na ito na talaga ang kapalaran ko. I'm bound to die early."

Patuloy sya sa paghikbi habang hawak nya ng mahigpit ang kamay ko. I felt as if my heart is being crushed. Hindi ko kayang makita ang kapatid ko o kahit sino sa kanila na nahihirapan. Sobrang sakit.

I want to stay with them.

I want to thank them for making me feel loved.

I want to be a good sister and a good daughter to them.

I want to return his sincere love..

I want to be with them until my last breath.