The Wounded One

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Change

Nights passing swiftly towards further darkness... it was then when I realized that sky was mourning with me.

It was dark, cold, and lonely nights.

Ang lahat ay nakasuot ng puti at may dalang mga puti na lobo, at rosas. Tahimik ang lahat, at ang mga hikbi lang ng iilan ang tanging maririnig sa kalagitnaan.

My tears stung in my eyes as I gazed my Mommy laying inside her golden casket, innocently and peacefully resting. She's really beautiful.

After three days, I still couldn't believe that this is happening, I'd never thought this day would even be possible.

Ito na yata ang pinakamasamang panaginip.

Mommy, gisingin mo naman ako... kung hindi man po ako magising, hayaan niyo nalang po ako hatakin ng dilim magpakailanman.

"As what Revelation 21:4 says, 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away'," the Pastor declared, during the private graveside service.

He started praying for Mommy's soul, comfort and strength for us to keep going. All agreed in prayer, but I stood still.

No words seem to comfort me in this situation. What I felt was beyond words
Words mean nothing to me.

Because to be honest I couldn't grasp the reality that I lost my mother. One day I was seeing her smile, feeling her hug, and adoring everything about her, then the next day, I was no longer.

I didn't understand that the Almighty God could be so cruel to the point that He snatched my mother from me without warning, no reason, and no point at all. My Mommy raised me believing in Him but now, I don't know, the faith I've been building for years is now gone.

"She's alive in heaven, even more alive than us!" the Pastor said as he applauded the life of Mommy.

Pumikit ako nang mariin at humugot nang malalim na hininga. Humahapdi na rin ang mga mata ko sa kakaiyak, pagod na ang mga ito pero hindi nauubusan ng bala.

Pagkatapos ibaba ang pinaglalagyan ng katawan ni Mommy, nilaglag na rin ang mga rosas sa lupa 'tsaka pinakawalan na rin namin ang mga puting lobo sa kalangitan. As a sign of sending my Mommy off, and as a sign that we're letting her go, so she could peacefully rest in heaven.

But I couldn't seem letting her go?

Hindi naging madali ang lahat, it was so hard waking up without a mother that takes care for you. Ang hirap hirap ulit bumangon... hindi na mahalaga para sa akin noon ang umaga, araw at gabi. Hindi ko na iniisip yung bukas.

If I woke up today, then, I'm fine. If I didn't wake up, that's okay I woudn't mind. I don't want to fight for my life anymore.

Pero kinailangan ko maging matapang, ako lahat ang umako ng responsibilidad. Even though I didn't feel trying, I still tried to live and survive. Even though, I couldn't respire, I still managed to barely breathe.

Nandito kami sa isang restaurant kasama ko sina Nanay Merlyn at Dashiel para kausapin ang lawyer ni Mommy tungkol sa mga transfer ng funds at lahat ng kailangan naming bayaran. Napag-alaman din kasi namin na bago siya namatay ay may mga kaso itong kinakaharap, she manipulated the financial statements to lower the income tax of their company. Some are fraudulent, and illegal activities. Hindi ko na masyadong inalam ang lahat ng detalye. Nakakapagod.

"Your Mom was working under the Executives kaya madali niya lang na nagagawa ang mga ito. No doubt, maaaring inuutusan lang din siya," the Lawyer concluded.