Loving Lennix

9. The struggle

Zander POV

The week with Lennix flew by too fast. It was bliss to be in our own little bubble. We packed, hung out, and made love all over her apartment.

Did I feel guilty for making a move after Jax and I made the agreement? Sure. Maybe a little. He's my best friend. But as his best friend I also know that he's not willing to settle down. He's not ready and I'm in love with Lennix. So when I felt it was right, I sure as hell made my move.

I can't say that my trip to Cali was purely to help her pack so she wasn't alone. It wasn't. Part of me knew if I waited until she got back, her and Jaxon would find their way to each other and it would end badly.

Neither of them are ready for a commitment, but she's closer to accepting it than he would be and I don't need him getting his dick wet and breaking down all the progress she has made. She looks at us like her best friends with a little something more. It would break her if he treated her like any of the other women he's been with.

I'm protecting them both... or maybe I'm just protecting myself by keeping them apart and keeping her to myself.

Hearing her say she loves me was probably the best feeling in the world and I'll be damned if I let anything happen to take that from me again. I've lost her once before and I'm not losing her again.

I just have to tread carefully when it comes to Lennix.

Baby steps.

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Lennix opened the door to my condo and walked in like it was her second home. I'm glad she feels so comfortable with us and in our space.

She was bouncing up and down with excitement when she ran through the door calling after Jaxon. I expected it. She missed him probably as much as she missed me. And it hurt her that he wasn't talking to her so much over the last couple of months. She felt like she did something wrong. We had a long talk about it while we were back in Cali. I know she has feelings for him. She doesn't have to say it. They may not be as strong as the ones she has for me, but they are there and I have to accept it.

"Jax!" She jumped into his arms squeezing him tight. He wrapped his arms around her and put his face in her neck enfolded by her long blonde hair.

"Nix, I missed you. How are you?" He asked in a tone that I knew was supposed to be friendly, but it rubbed me the wrong way, especially when I saw her shoulders stiffen.

She backed out of his arms. Her posture went from relaxed to on edge and I knew what was bothering her. He missed her, but not enough to call or text. She has a hard time trusting people, so his words verses actions sound like a lie.

"I missed you too, Jax. And you would know how I am if you texted or called. What's been up with you? Are you ok?" There was hurt in her voice. I don't know if he noticed. I didn't even have to see her face to know it's there. This just pisses me off more. Even if they are just friends I'll never be ok with someone hurting her in any way.

Jax looked uncomfortable looking anywhere but at her. "I'm sorry, Nix. I've just been keeping myself busy. You know. Lots to do."

The dick didn't even have the decency to be honest with her. This just confirms that I'm doing the right thing. If he can't be honest and isn't ready, I won't push him to man up, but I won't wait to have what should be mine. As far as I'm concerned, he's lost his chance with her and I did nothing wrong.

"Oh really? And who's been keeping you so busy you couldn't send a text to check in?"

I had to hold back a laugh. She came out with guns blazing. Though it sounded like a joke, she was calling him out on his shit. She may not talk about emotions much but she's an open book. She will call you on your shit so fast your head will spin. It's one of the things I love about her.