Reunion

24 Tears

James's POV

Faith's confession sobered me up and now I can't believe my father... well Dan who bailed me out of jail is here with me. I'm in his car going home. Why the hell did I suggest on going to the fraternity house anyway? I blame the alcohol for that and I will never ever drink that much again. But how could Faith have feelings for me when she knew the whole time I was gay? She's practically the first person I told her about that. Then again dan is here with me driving... My thoughts are repeating itself I think I'm still a little drunk. Never in my entire life that I thought this time could come. I'd be the drunk one and dad be the sober one.

I cringe at that thought. I don't wanna be like him. And besides it's not like I have a wife or a children to beat up to like he did. Even if I have which is impossible and kinda disgusting, I would never hurt anyone like he did to me. I know the pain and I don't want any people or kids to experience what I have experienced.

My dad... Dan clears his throat breaking the awkward silence and thick tension in the air making me jump on my seat but luckily I stopped myself. I think it'll take time for me to get used on calling him Dan instead of Dad. He may be my father in the papers but he can't ignore the truth that my blood is different from his.

"I want to explain myself about how I got into drinking" Dan states.

Well, I'll probably won't remember everything you'll say to me tomorrow when I'm sober.

"I knew you weren't mine the moment I saw you but I loved and welcomed you as my own son" he continues before I could respond. I look at him and he looks at me sideways. The moment our eyes met, I look away for I feel my eyes starting to get watery with pain and anger inside me.

loved? How can he possibly say he loved me when he beats me up whenever he comes home drunk causing mom to cry and shout on the top of her lungs begging him to stop. But I stay silent and let him continue while I stare at the empty street.

"Years go by you started to look exactly like him and it hurts me so much it drives me insane. I knew that was coming and I told myself I have to get ready but I failed. That's when I started drinking to get the never ending growing pain in my chest out off my mind" he voice cracks and he cleared his throat again. "He was my best my friend and he was just like a brother to me but he betrayed me. I love your mom and we fought our love together for I cannot bear to love without the other half of my soul" He surprisingly sobs.

I've never seen Dan crying in my entire whole life. Even when he was drunk or anything, I never got the chance to see him cry like this. I don't know what to do exactly so I place my hand on his shoulder. He flinch but quickly recovers. Just in time we arrive home. He parks at the front of the house. The lights inside were still on.

"Mom is at the apartment alone" I state my voice cracks betraying me. Damn it.

"We talked and she asked me to bring her here. She also asked to me find you and talk" he explains.

I hope mom is already asleep because I don't want her to be worrying at me going home late.

"Dad" I sob un buckling my seat belt to hug him.

"I'm so sorry son. I should've done that to you and to your mother" he says as I hug him while he rests his forehead on the steering wheel.

"It's okay dad" I rub his back using my hand to calm him down.

"If I only could take all the bad things I've done to you" he admits.

I remember how painful and how I got traumatize because of his drinking but it's not too late too change. The first time he beat me up was the worst night of my life. I was only eight when he beat me and that night when he got home I welcomed him like I always do but then he pushed me away causing me to hit the floor. My mother was shouting on top of her lungs begging Dan to stop. The only thing I remember was he was gripping the collar of my T-shirt then everything went black. The next thing I remember was waking up in my mother's bed with blood on the pillow. Then I realized it was my blood. My mom slept at the couch waiting for dad to come home hoping he's sober.

"Why happened to John?" I ask him. I feel him tenses but recovers "I mean why he died" I ask clearly.

"Drug overdose" he answers me.

I feel pain and rage towards that man that I didn't get the chance to even meet him. I can't warp my head about what if John and mom ended up together. He'll probably worst than Dan anyway. Mom's sickness would be worst.

I'm thankful that Dan fought his love for my mother even if he knew that I wouldn't be his. But if he could only told me sooner about why he drinks and beat me up, I could have done something to help him. 5o help him accept me. Or maybe I could just leave. It's better for me to leave anyway because if I did, my mom won't be so stressed and get sick years after Dan continues to drink.

"Oh" I say after a couple of minutes. I rest my head on his shoulder while he rests his on the steering wheel.

I couldn't but cry for I don't know what to do anymore. I feel sad for not being able to meet my father who happens to rape my mother on their graduation day because of jealousy. He's just like Christian. He should've change like I hope Christian will but he didn't got the chance. All I can do now is pray that he rest in peace. I want him to know that I forgive him. Mom forgives him. Dad forgives him. We can't live with rage inside of us. We need to move on and continue living life because we don't know where, when, or how God will end it. I do pray that John, my biological father rest in peace and be forgiven by God on everything he had done wrong.

He take a deep breath before finally sitting proper in his seat. I remove my head and hand away from him and I sit properly. His eyes are bloodshot from crying, cheeks wet like mine.

"Son, I really am sorry for everything" Dan apologizes looking away with guilt I suppose.

"Dad" I manage to call him causing him to look at me with shock and hope in his eyes. Hope that we still could build a strong and fresh relationship again as father and son.

"I understand dad. I forgive you." I manage to smile at him.