Reunion

28 Father

James's POV

I woke up by the sound of my mother's foot steps in my room. It took me a moment to remember that I'm back in my room. My house. In my actual house that I call home not the apartment. I'm on my front when I open my eyes and see my mother placing a bowl of hot soup in the nightstand before sitting beside me on my old bed.

"Good morning" she smiles at me. That smile that I haven't seen for a while.

The last thing I remember about last night was my dad crying the car. We had a heart to heart talk and we cried. I pray that he didn't carry me to the house because I can't remember anything after we talked.

"Morning mom" I smile back at her while trying to sit up. I groan as I manage to sit up because of my hangover. I'm never gonna drink so much ever again.

"Here's some soup. Your dad cooked it for you" she informs me.

My mom looks happy that finally Dan and I talked about his drinking that made my fear and rage towards him go away. I have this feeling inside me where something very heavy in my chest lifted. I also feel different now it's just my hangover is torturing me.

"Thanks" I reach for the soup and spoon on the nightstand. As I take a sip, I immediately feel better. I can't remember when exactly was the last time dad cooked for breakfast. Even those times when he stopped drinking, he never ever did. This should be a great start for our family. No more secrets. No more rage. No more hiding things. Then I remember I'm finding something from dad. Myself. My true self. I'm gay and he has to accept me for what I am. I wonder why mom and Dan didn't try to make a child themselves.

"Ma?" I look at my who's watching me taking a sip from beside me.

"Hm?" She looks at me.

"Why haven't you and dad tried to make a baby?" I didn't mean it to be dirty or something but mom facial expression made me laugh. I never had this type of conversation with mom and I think this kind of 5hings supposed to be private. What I actually mean is why didn't they have a baby to be my sibling. You know?

Ugh

This is stupid.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that" I apologize and she laughs along with me. Mom didn't laugh so much these days. This laugh of hers is different it's pure.

"It's okay son" she smiles letting out a breath. "We tried actually to make a baby but Dan found out he can't" she says causing me to stop eating.

"You mean Dad's..."

"Infertile" she finishes for me.

"Oh" I look away from mom and look at the open window.

Now I feel terribly guilty and bad. Guilty because of the rage inside me for him. This family is having a lack of communication. Now I get it! Dan knew that I wouldn't be his because knew all along he can't. John may know that that's why he did it to mom because he has something that Dad hasn't. Dan's mom's a doctor and he has to know about it. He married my mother despite of her being pregnant by his traitor best friend. I can now finally feel like I understand him well. He has this anger inside him towards John that I happen to look exactly like him. He knew I wouldn't be his child and he planned to be ready because as time ticks by, my features will be exactly like him. I wonder why Dan didn't told me about this one last night. Maybe he did I was just too wasted. Either way I'm finally building a relationship with him as my own father.

I can't help but think about what if they told me earlier so I could do something to help. I would everything to help Dan let his anger out of him. Everybody has rage towards someone because they have done a very very terrible thing to them that is so so hard to forgive. I can forgive but I can never forget. Like my situation with Dan I forgive him but my experience with the drunk him will always be staying in my mind. It won't go away. I'm hoping that now that I know everything, the bad memories I have of him will he replaced by special memories. Marie once told Christian last night that we have to cherish every single moment of our loved ones because we have no idea when, where, or how will your life or their life will end. You won't know that maybe this could be the last moment you have of them. So spend every moment with them as if it's your last.

"Mom where's dad?" I ask her placing the bowl of soup in the nightstand. Her face lights up.

"He's in the kitchen" she informs me and I nod standing up.

I make way through the kitchen and spotted my dad washing the dishes. I thought he hated washing dishes? He mist really trying to change.

"Morning dad" I greet from the dining table and sit. He looks at me sideways and smiles awkwardly. He must thought I'd call him Dan rather than Dad.

"Thank you for the soup" I add when he turns his attention back to cleaning.

"No problem son" he simply replies. My heart flutter when he calls me son.

"Dad I want to tell you something since you finally told me about what's behind your drinking" I start. He nods and finally place the clean plate on the cabinet where we place the plates. He turns around and sit across from me.

"I already know, son" he reach for my hand surprising me.

He knows I'm gay?

"No dad its..." I try to explain but he cuts me off by shaking his head.

"I may not be your biological father, but I know you more than you think" he states. I know it pains him saying that I'm not his biological son but I'm glad I grew up with him being my Father despite of the trauma he caused me. It servers as a lesson to the both of us. Meaning

"It's okay for you then?" I try to study his eyes but it seems to be calm and back to normal eyes back when I remember it as normal eyes before he entered drinking.

"Son, it's your life not mine" his words hit me too hard.