Give In

telling

"I can't believe I'm talking about this with you", I groaned.

"C'mon, it's a normal conversation".

"It's not normal when we're talking about my sex life with my ex you used to mock".

He laughed."You don't have to tell me if you don't want to".

"No, I will. I don't have anything to hide. Ok, well the sex was good. Liam was the best lover I've ever had. I guess with time we didn't put much effort into it or didn't try new stuff. We were both pretty busy with our jobs, we didn't have the time".

"You make time", he said.

"It's not that easy. When you live with someone there are more things to take care of, it's not a constant sleepover. You have responsibilities".

"So you're telling everything goes to shit once you start living together with your partner".

His words made me question my life once again and I hated it. I was speechless because he was right, it shouldn't be like that. Many couples live a long happy life together and enjoy sex way more often than me and Liam were doing. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them while I hid my face between them.

"Fuck", I whined.

"Sorry", he said caressing my back.

"I can't believe I was so oblivious all this time".

"Hey", he called me to look at him. When I did, he took my hand and push for me to follow him to the sofa so we could be more comfortable. "I'm pretty sure you had your good moment, just hold on to those and let go of the others".

"I was so stupid", I groaned again. "I even settled for vanilla sex!"

"Ok...", he said softly. "You... don't like vanilla sex?"

What? Oh God, why did I said that? Stupid alcohol unfiltering my mouth.

Sex was not a topic I was used to discuss openly, although it wasn't taboo either. I just hadn't had much opportunities to do it, apart from my friends when one of us needed advice. For some wild reason I didn't want Shawn to know that, I didn't want him to notice that a tiny part of be was blushing and feeling insecure. I wanted to sound like an empowered sexy woman in control of her sex life, even when I was just realizing I was not.

"It's not that I don't like it, you know, but when that's the only kind of sex you're having, it gets boring".

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"I told you I was stupid".

"Alright, stop calling you that", he scolded me and then we went silence for a couple of minutes. "To be honest, Liam looks like vanilla sex".

"Oh my God", I said shaking my head, trying to hold my laugh.

"It's true, though", he continued enjoying the conversation. "It might be just me, but sometimes you look at someone and you know the type of person they are in bed".

"Oh yeah? What person am I?", I asked right away but my voice faded at the last part when I saw Shawn's darken eyes stared at me.

He licked his lips first, and then said "you look like the type of person who loves sex but doesn't show it to everyone. Like, you need a connection with someone to really enjoy it and once you have that, you go all in for it, no restrictions".

"Ok... that could be true".

"You know it is", he said with a husky voice. "Your eyes are shining just thinking about it".

"Let me try with you", I told him, ignoring his last comment. He nodded with a smirk. "Ok, you look like... like a guy that had his first time with his first girlfriend and when that ended, went all around having sex with other people exploring all kind of fantasies. How did I do?"