Give In

doubting

"Hi", Shawn said kissing my cheek and sitting at his desk.

He has been somehow cozier and more loving lately and I didn't know how I felt about it. Ever since we had hot sex hidden in the bathroom at the engagement party and then in my apartment, he has been unable to keep his hands off me, private or publicly. I knew we hadn't discussed that part, but I never thought it was important considering we had only agreed to casual sex, no strings attached.

"Hi", I replied a bit shy.

"How are you today?", he asked with a smile.

He maybe had the most beautiful smile I had seen in a guy.

"Great, what about you?"

"Awesome".

That night after the party, we went back to my apartment and made great use of our time alone, since Nicole was working and we had the apartment to ourselves. The next morning he surprised me with breakfast. It was nice and I had thoroughly enjoyed every second, but there was a difference between enjoying those moments alone, in our bubble, and to do so in front of people. People that I didn't specially trust and that had seen my now ex boyfriend come here with flowers to surprise me just two months ago.

"I want to ask you something...", he began to say but someone from the legal department called him and he had to go check on that. "I'll be back soon", he said and got up.

Butterflies flew in my stomach and I didn't know if they were the good or bad kind.

His call lasted longer than expected and we didn't run into each other again until lunch time and for when that happened he looked exhausted.

"Everything ok?", I asked him.

"Yeah. We just need a client to sign some documents as soon as possible and we can't get a hold of him".

"You look a bit tired", I said and surprised myself stroking his forearm in public. Maybe our casual caresses were growing on me as well.

"Do you wanna get out of here?", Shawn asked me.

"Where do you wanna go?", I said.

"Remember the food truck by the park?". I nodded excitedly and we both got up to take our break.

The sexual tension between us increased with every second that passed. It was crazy riding the elevator with him without touching him, or walking feeling his hand so close to mine but not being able to hold it. Part of me wanted to do all of that, the other part was completely terrified and against it.

The tension was too much to bare when sauce from the sandwich I was eating fell on my face, next to my lips, and before I could get a napkin he ran his thumb over it and then brough it his mouth. The air got trapped in my lungs and our eyes were instantly locked.

I cought and drank from my bottle of water to distract myself.

"So... What was that that you wanted to ask me?", I said not looking at him in the eyes.

"Right", he swallow. "Uh, so you know my family is canadian and we, uh, celebrate the canadian Thanksgiving as well as the american".

"Uh, nice", I said.

"Yeah, and our Thanksgiving is next week, on October 12. I was wondering if you would like to come with me to dinner with my family".

What? Never ever I would've guessed that was the thing he wanted to ask me. Dinner with his family?

"You don't have to answer now", he said noticing the panic on my face. "Think about it and let me know later, or the same day, I don't know. My parents live outside the city, it's just a 45 minutes drive from here".