Give In

agreeing

Shawn's POV

She sat on the sofa by the window and left her belongings on the coffee table right next to her. I went to grab the glass of water she had accepted and went right back to her. She looked a bit nervous and her state was starting to worry me as well. Was I making her uncomfortable? Did she want to stop seeing me after what I told her? Oh God, I hoped I hadn't screw up things with her with my recklessness.

"Here", I said handling her the glass.

"Thank you", she said.

Damn, her lips looked sexy touching the edge of the glass and getting wet.

Stop it, Shawn.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I sat next to her.

She placed the glass on the table in front of her and readjusted to face me. Her eyes were big and she was constantly playing with her fingers.

"Is everything alright?", I asked a bit more worried this time.

"Yeah, yeah", she replied quickly looking at her hands and then fixing her hair. "I just... I thought about what you said".

"Ok..."

"And... I need to be very honest now because I feel I wasn't being honest with myself lately, so..."

"Camila, look at me" I said looking for her eyes. "You can tell me. It's ok. Don't worry".

She took a deep breath and then continue.

"I want you".

Fuck those words took me by surprise.

"I want you", she repeated. I think she was making sure I had heard her. "But..." Oh no.

She stood up, took the glass of water, drank from it, put it back, fixed her hair and sat down again. All while I was just looking at her speechless and so confused.

"I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't want a relationship, but I want you. And I know what I'm saying sounds crazy, my friend Nicole actually gave the idea and I couldn't get rid of it. The more that I think about it, the more fun it sounds, but only if you are ok with it as well. I don't want to make you feel uncom-"

"Camila", I said interrupting her and cupping her face with my hands. "Just tell me your idea".

She blushed hard before speaking.

"Would you be ok with us being... fuck buddies?"

My jaw dropped.

"Fuck buddies?" I asked for confirmation.

She bit her lip and nodded shyly.

"Like friends with benefits?" I asked again.

"Fuck that sounds so much better", she whined and covered her face.

I smiled at her cuteness and took her hands out of her face.

"Is that what you really want?"

"It is... It is what I'm willing to try now. It is what makes me feel safe. A middle point".

We looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, trying to take in our last words. I studied her. She seemed worried, shy, nervous but also excited. I knew this was all what she could offer me right now, but I didn't want her doing this only to please me. If this is not something she actually and genuinely wants for herself then I won't do it.

"You want me..." I said teasing her.

"Shawn...", she whined again as trying to tell me not to mess with her at this moment.