Give In

wishing

Shawn had invited me to go out with their friends tonight but I'd already had my dose of partying for a month, so I told him I'd pass. He was hesitant for a moment, but I told him it was ok if he wanted to go without me. I knew from the first moment that he liked to party more than me and I was ok with that, because I trusted him.

Instead, I stayed home with a bowl of popcorn and sad movies. I watched half a movie with Nicole but she went to bed early as she was tired from work. I moved my movie night to my room and continued to cry my eyes out watching A Walk to Remember. It was late, but I wasn't really tired when I got a text from Shawn.

[S: I misi you baby]

I figured by the typo on his text that he was already tipsy, if not more. I giggled thinking that even in that state, he was thinking of me.

[C: I miss you too 😘]

[S: I wish yu were heree]

[C: I wish you were here]

I replied to his text using the same words, because yes, having him here, snuggled next to me sounded more appealing than being on a bar full of people.

He didn't reply after that last text and I went back to my movie. A bit past midnight, I thought it was a good time to go to sleep, so I went to the kitchen to clean up the bowl of popcorn and I was brushing my teeth when my phone started ringing in my bed. I speeded up the process and ran to pick up the call.

It was Shawn. My heart felt warm in my chest when I saw his name on the screen.

"Hi, baby", I said after pressing the green button.

"Camila", a different voice said.

"Who is this?", I asked confused.

"It's me, Brian. Camila, uh, Shawn..."

"Brian, what's going on?"

"He got kicked by a car outside the bar", I felt all my blood leave my limbs and rush to my heart that started to beat so damn fast. "They're taking him to the hospital".

"Wh- What? What happened? How is he?"

"I don't know", he said too fast, almost indistinguishable. "The car came out of nowhere, that stupid asshole".

"What hospital are they taking him?" I asked, looking for my jeans, boots and coat around my room.

"Sutter Hospital", he said.

"I'm on my way. Tell him I'm on my way", I insisted and then we both hanged up.

My body felt weak and my knees were shaking, but I had to pull it together and go check on him. I woke Nicole up to let her know I was going there and she tried to calm me down by saying she would tell a friend there to check on him and let me know if they knew something since that was the hospital she was working on. I thanked and hugged her and then frenetically went down the stairs, too anxious to wait for the elevator to come. Luckily, a cab stopped by not long after I made my way outside. My heart was beating really fast and my foot kept tapping the floor of the car. I paid for the ride with shaky hands and the driver might have noticed how nervous I was because he wished me good luck before I got out.

In my mind, I kept playing over and over again our last texts. If only those words could have come true...

I jogged inside the hospital and through the cold halls until I made it to the waiting room his friends were sat at with their heads down.

"How is he?", I asked standing in front of them, my voice shaking.They all stood up with worried eyes.

"We don't know", Connor said and sat back down.