Give In

helping

Shawn held me until I stopped ugly crying. We had moved to the sofa but I still hadn't said a word to him. He whispered sweet things on my ear and brushed my hair with his long fingers. Eventually I put myself together and sat up. He looked at me with worried eyes but before asking anything he offered me a cup of tea.

We waited till the water boiled and he put a mug in my hands.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He said softly.

"I broke up with Liam".

"I'm sorry".

"And he told me I couldn't go home".

"What?!"

"He's mad and he's hurt", I explained even though I didn't know what I was doing putting a word for him.

"Is he crazy?" Shawn asked annoyed.

"We were doing really fine..."

"That's what I thought", he interrupted me.

"No, you don't understand" I told him. "I broke up with him on Sunday. We were going through a clean break up until today".

"I thought... I thought you were together and making things work", he said confused.

"No. I told him the relationship was over days ago".

"But you were still living together?"

"It's complicated. I didn't have anywhere to go at that moment. I'm moving with a friend tomorrow, but I slept in the guest room meanwhile"

"And what changed? Why doesn't he want you there now?"

"Because he thinks I cheated on him and lied about it" He raised his eyebrows. "...with you".

The shock on his face was evident and I didn't want anything more than to disappear. I was so embarrassed to admit that in front of him, but I needed to tell someone.

"Are you ok?", he asked me with a husky voice.

"I don't know. I can't believe he would think something like that of me, after all these years. I'm sorry he brought you into this mess. I probably shouldn't have even come here, all things considered. Oh God, I'm sorry. This was a terrible idea, you don't have to listen to me rambling about this, this is all my fault. I was just nearby and I remembered your address from the other night, but I'll go now. I'm so sorry Sha-" He put his hands over each side of my face and I shut up.

"Breathe", was the first thing he said. "Don't apologize for any of this, this isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong, you didn't lie and you have nothing to hide. I'm here and I can help you, you don't need to go anywhere".

I closed my eyes and he pulled me against his chest once again. It was crazy how I knew this guy for almost just three months but had completely merged into my life like he was here all the time.

I took in his smell. He smelled like his perfume but also like clean laundry, a baby scent in his clothes.

"I don't want to bother you", I whispered.

"You are not bothering me", he assured me.

He slowly let go of me and I reclined over the couch.

"Although I do have a tiny problem..." He said.

Oh no, I thought. I didn't want to leave but I couldn't force him to have me here either.

"Don't panic", he laughed. "I just have to run to the store, because I didn't do the grocery shopping this week and I don't have much food left. Is that ok?"