What I Never Knew I Deserved

Chapter 20

Before we knew it, I was 16 weeks pregnant. I had a pretty decent sized bump too. You could tell I'm pregnant. It looked like I had a small ball under my shirt.

I got up on Monday morning and put on my work jeans and shirt and headed to the arena. Since finding out about the baby, I've been doing nothing but physical therapy training and escorting superstars to the emergency room when necessary.

I sat in catering and ate my strawberry yogurt and watching the show. It had been a dead night for physical therapy, so I took a little bit of a longer break than usual. I was just about to get up to throw my yogurt container away when Colby came walking over to me and sat down on my left side. He took the yogurt cup from me and held my left hand and smiled. "What'd you do?", I asked. "Nothing... I'm just gonna be able to go home with you tomorrow and I'm thinking pizza for dinner", he said casually. I squealed with excitement and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. 

After RAW was over, he went and took a shower and I walked around backstage waiting. I put my hand on my belly and smiled as I felt our baby boy move. He's been quiet throughout this whole thing and I hoped he'd end up being a quiet baby who hardly ever cries. My sister's oldest kid hardly ever cried. Maybe I'd get that lucky too.

When Colby was ready, we headed out to the rental car that was pulled up as close to the exit as possible. We didn't want anyone knowing until we announced it on social media.

The next morning, we got up and got dressed and headed for the airport. 

After we landed in Iowa, we headed for the house. I smiled as we pulled into the driveway and Colby laughed at my excitement. "Don't judge, I've missed our bed", I said and he laughed. "I have too".

He helped me out of the cab and we headed inside. We decided to post a simple picture announcing the pregnancy. We both showered and got dressed (me in a light blue sundress and white sandals and Colby in a pair of jeans and a black T-Shirt and sneakers. My hair was down in natural curls and natural makeup). We headed to the backyard and put the ultrasound picture on the picnic table with a pair of blue baby converse sneakers on the edge of the picture to hold it down. I snapped a picture and then Colby and I took a selfie holding the ultrasound. I posted both pictures and captioned it: "Not one, but TWO surprises were in store for me this year.. @wwerollins and I are over the moon excited about welcoming a sweet baby boy into the world in just 24 weeks. Wedding is being pushed to the beginning of next year, but it's oh so worth it. I love you, babe. I can't wait to see you as a daddy" and Colby captioned it with: "Surprised her with an engagement, but there was no way I planned this surprise. Future Superstar coming later this year! Maddison and I are already so in love with this baby boy. Can't wait to see her as a mother. I love you both".

Over the next 4 weeks, Colby and I were on the road. I was strictly on RAW and only travelled once a week. We had a meeting with Stephanie and we all decided that I was to stop travelling at 25 and go home. Well... They decided it. I got mad because they wouldn't let me wait until 30 weeks.

At 20 weeks, Colby and I went to my doctor's appointment. 

When we got there, we were taken to an exam room and I got ready for the doctor to come in. A few minutes later, the doctor came in and we greeted each other and he grabbed the gel and wand and started it over my belly. We watched the monitor and I got a little worried when he got a look on his face that I couldn't read. "Is everything OK?", I asked. Colby grabbed my left hand and I looked up at him. "Have you felt much movement and kicking?", he asked avoiding the question. "I've felt him move a few times.. Is everything OK?", I asked again. "Everything is just fine... Would you excuse me for a moment?", he asked. 

He left the room and I looked up at Colby. "Something's wrong", I said. "It'll be OK, babe", he said and bent down and kissed my forehead. 

A few minutes later, the doctor came back in with a doctor much older than him. They both looked over the ultrasound and started the wand back up. They both looked at the monitor and I squeezed Colby's hand. Both doctor's excused themselves and didn't come back for almost 20 minutes. The older doctor came back in first, with our doctor right behind him. "Ms.McMahon... We've looked over your ultrasound and we've found something", he said. "Would you mind getting dressed and meeting us in my office?", he asked. I nodded and they left. I got dressed and Colby and I walked hand in hand to the office.

We walked in and sat down and I put my right hand on my belly and Colby held my left hand. "So, we ran another ultrasound to confirm what my colleague discovered.. Your baby has Type 2 Osteogenesis Imperfecta.. That means your baby's bones are breaking with every move he makes, which is why you haven't been feeling very much movement", he said. I gripped Colby's hand tighter and he squeezed it back. I rubbed my belly and felt a tear slip out. "So what does this mean? What are our options?", Colby asked. "You have a few choices.. We can induce preterm labor and you can have a few minutes to a few hours with him. We can help you carry to full term... But understand that this won't get any better.. I don't want to lie to you, your baby is in pain right now.. I've only come across this one other time in Seattle and that couple decided to carry to full term and they lost the baby at 30 weeks. If you choose preterm labor, you can hold your baby while he's still alive... It's completely up to the two of you", he said. I looked at Colby just as he was wiping at his face and I felt another tear slip out. 

Colby squeezed my hand and I felt like everything was gonna be OK, even though our world is currently falling apart. "I want you guys to go home and talk over your options. Don't decide right away. We can meet again in a few weeks... I'll call a week from today and see where you stand. I truly am sorry", he said. He smiled weakly at us and we stayed sitting. After a few minutes, Colby finally grabbed my hands and helped me up. My legs felt like Jell-O, so I fell into him and wrapped my arms around his waist and cried. He wrapped his arms around me and held me up. If he wasn't standing here, I would've hit the floor.

When I finally gained my composure back, we headed to Colby's truck and headed home. I looked out the window as we headed down the highway and rested my left hand on my belly. Colby reached over and put his right hand over my left and I continued to stare out the window.

When we got home, we went inside and I went straight to the bedroom to change clothes. I quickly changed into a pair of athletic shorts and one of Colby's T-Shirts and went into the living room and sat on the couch and started to cry again.

Colby sat down beside me and pulled me into him. "We don't have to make a decision right now... Okay?", he said. I nodded and he kissed the top of my head. "We need to make a decision soon though", I said. He pulled me closer into him and kissed me again. "I love you, Mads. We'll be OK. Everything will be OK", he said. 

Over the next few weeks, we had finally made our decision. It was by far the hardest decision we ever had to make. We took a little over a week to decide, but we wanted to wait until the doctor called us back to tell him.