What I Never Knew I Deserved

Chapter 12

Before we knew it, the Hall of Fame was here. I was in my hotel room getting ready and Colby was picking up his suit from the dry cleaners and running other errands before he picked me up for the show.

I decided on wearing my hair down in big loose curls and did a basic smoky eye look with nude lips. I slid on my dress and shoes and was doing touch ups when there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, I was in awe. It was Colby in his suit. He had on a nice black tux with a white button down shirt and a black tie and matching black shoes with his hair pulled back in a low bun.

I smiled at him and all he did was look me up and down. "Does this dress look OK?", I asked. I turned around in a slow circle and showed off the dress. The back went down to right above my lower back and I was extremely nervous about it. Colby smiled and took my hands in his and I smiled back. "You look amazing. Especially from the back", he said as he winked. 

We quickly headed down to the limo he rented and when we pulled up to the arena, we headed inside and went straight for the red carpet. "In and out", he said as he kissed my cheek. We waited and before we knew it, we were standing on the red carpet in front of the Hall of Fame back drop smiling for pictures. Colby had his right hand on my lower back and I had my right arm around his waist.

After our pictures, we were greeted by Renee for an interview. "Now, I have with me, WWE Superstar Seth Rollins! Seth, how's the knee?", she asked. "It's doing great. I'm doing physical therapy every day and working out every day.. I'm ready to get back in that ring" "We can't wait to see you back in action! I see you've brought a date with you tonight" "Yeah *He smiles*, This is my girlfriend, Maddison. Doesn't she look amazing tonight?", he asked and spun me around once. I giggled and smiled as I spun around and ended back with me holding his right hand. 

After more questions about how Colby's recovery was going, we went inside and found our seats (6 rows from the front of the stage on the aisle. I Colby sat on the aisle seat and I sat on his right side) and sat down. I crossed my right leg over my left and looked up at Colby and watched as he watched everyone coming in. He glanced over and saw me staring and smiled at me. "What?", he asked with a grin on his face. "Nothing, I... I'm glad you're smiling". He smiled and leaned over and kissed me and pulled back.

After the ceremony was over, we went straight to our hotel and Colby walked me to my room.

The next day, I got up and took a shower and did my usual natural makeup and put on a pair of dark denim jeans, my sneakers, and my black WWE polo and left my hair down to air dry. 

After I was ready, I headed for the arena in my rental car. Colby had to be there early for interviews, so we took separate cars.

When I got there, I went straight to the trainer's room and was setting everything up when Colby came walking in. "Hey!", I said. "Hey", he said back and walked over to me and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he rubbed my shoulders. "I just wanted to come see you before the show started. We're filming that WWE: 24 thing for the Network and I wanted some alone time with you", he said. I smiled and kissed him. "Come back here when you're done?". He nodded and left and I went back to work.

About 30 minutes into the show, Colby came backstage and found me in catering with Renee. "Can I talk to you?", he asked with a defeated look on his face. "Of course". Renee left and Colby sat down on my left side in the folding chair and put his face in his hands and ran his hands through his hair and looked up at me. "I can't do this, Mads. I can't be here". I sighed and grabbed his hands and he laughed lightly and looked down as he held my hands. "I'm gonna go back to the room", he said and got up. I got up with him and grabbed his hand and he turned around. "I'll leave here as soon as I can, okay?", I asked. He nodded and went to walk off and I pulled on his hand. "You're not getting by without a kiss", I said. He smiled at me and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I pulled back and he leaned in again and kissed me again. This time, I let him pull back first. "I love you", I said. "I love you", he said back.

Watching him walk away from me was one of the worst feelings I ever had. It broke my heart to see him this upset. 

After I was able to leave, I went through a drive thru and got burgers and fries and headed back to my room and changed into a pair of navy blue joggers and a white tank top and slid on my slide on Nike sandals and headed down the hallway to Colby's room. I knocked on the door and Colby opened it a few seconds later wearing nothing but his sweatpants. He smiled when he saw me and I walked in, handing him one of the to go sacks.

After we ate, Colby got under the blankets and I crawled in beside him and he started scrolling through Instagram on his phone and I just started at him with a smile on my face. "What?", he asked looking over at me. "I just... I love you. A lot. I've never had someone show me off this much in a relationship.. Last night and all week at Axxess... You did nothing but show how much you love me and I love you so much more for that. Nobody's ever shown me off or shown me how much they love me like you have". He smiled and I smiled back. "You're worth showing off. I mean, damn.. That dress last night... It was perfect on you", he said. I blushed and looked down and he pulled my chin up. "You stole the show last night, Mads", I said. "My dress didn't even show off that much", I said. "That doesn't matter. Those other women could walk around in nothing but string panties and nipple tassels and I'd still only stare at you".

The next couple of weeks were busy. Colby had a doctor's appointment to check the progress on his recovery and I was out on the road with SmackDown. The weekend after Colby's birthday, I was visiting him for a couple of days and then I'd be heading back home to my apartment to have some alone time and do some paperwork.

I was in Colby's bedroom brushing my hair in the mirror above the dresser and he walked up behind me in his sweatpants and put his hands on my waist and pulled me into him and I smiled. "I have a question", he said. I looked at him through the mirror and raised my eyebrows and kept brushing my hair. "More like a statement, actually... I... Uh... I want you to move in with me", he said. I stopped midbrush and put my arms down at my sides. I immediately felt my blood go ice cold and I turned around and looked at him; searching for any indication that he was joking. "Are you serious?", I asked. "Dead serious", he said with a straight face. I sat down on the bed and looked up at him and he was smiling. "Come on, Mads. We've been dating for almost a year.. We've been friends longer than that.. Hell, you stay here all the time anyway", he said. I looked down at the hair brush in my hand and felt tears threaten to fall out. "I can't", I said.

"What do you mean you can't?", he asked. "I can't move in with you". He sat down on the bed and grabbed my hands. "Mads, nothing's changing, we'd just be living together", he said. "Just be living together? Colby... That's a huge step! We haven't talked about it. Hell, I don't even know where you stand on marriage and kids", I said as I stood up and ran my hands through my hair. "I'm asking you to move in, Madi, that's all... And I want a marriage and kids.. I want a family", he said. "I just don't get why you don't want to live with me" "It's not that I don't want to, Cole, it's that, I CAN'T", I said as tears ran down my face. "Fine. Don't move in", he said and stormed out of the room. I followed him down the hall and he was sitting on the couch and turning the TV on. "Colby, please -", I started and he cut me off. "Don't Mads. You don't love me like I love you. It's fine". 

I started crying and sat in front of him. "It's not that I don't love you, Colby, it's bigger than that!", I said. "Save it, alright? I don't want to hear it", he said. "Colby, I -" "Just stop, Madi! I get it. You don't trust me. You're acting like you don't love me. I've spent the past almost YEAR trying to get you to open up and let me in and show you how you deserve to be treated and all you've done is push me away", he said. After about an hour of fighting, I stormed into his bedroom and threw my suitcase open and threw all of my clothes inside and put my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and grabbed my purse and headed for the door.

When I got to the door, He got up. "Where are you going?", he asked. "Leaving", I said. "Madi, wait, I didn't -" "Don't, Colby... Just don't. You think I don't trust you? Or love you? Colby, I went to the goddamn Hall of Fame ceremony with you and walked the red carpet with you! That itself was a huge step for me. Nobody else ever let me do that. I always had to stand off to the side or Hell, I didn't even get to go at all. Yeah, I'm broken... But I'm getting myself put back together. I've pushed you away at times, yes.. But I ALWAYS let you in. And yeah, Brock fucked me up mentally and made me feel like I didn't deserve what you're giving me... But I love you. I thought you of all people would understand how important going slow was to me, but apparently, you don't", I said. "Madi, I -" "Save it, Colby. If you can't understand that I can't move in with you yet, then I'm leaving".