boyfriend {k.c + m.p}

chapter 25

trigger warning.
mentions of suicide, self harming, etc.

*a week later*
11:46 pm
mattia was laying on his bed for the whole week, his eyes are swollen enough to close and sleep forever. he hasn't seen any of his friends this past week, he just pushed it off as if he was spending time with his family.

mattias phone dinged and it was from his friends...he hasn't checked his phone all day and it was 33 missed messages and 20 missed calls.

alejandro:
dude is there anything going on with you?
you just seem not yourself
u can always text me or the guys if somethings happening to u

alvaro:
hey, u ok?
i'm happy to see u happy but is there a reason for this?

roshaun:
yo u gud?
this ain't u

robert:
mattia i'm here if you need me
i know this isn't you.

kai🌻:
hey matti...hope you're doing okay.

mattia cracked a smile at all the messages that were received from him, it made him feel good his friends cared.

he sighed and threw his phone on the bed and rubbed his face with his crabby palms to wipe away all the sadness from his head.

that didn't really work.

he's been in a deep depression for weeks now, he's glad his friends could see a change in him but he can't just say 'hey guys. i'm depressed.' he was scared of his friends making fun of him from past experiences.

he was tired of putting a facade on for his friends and family. he was tired of everything. his friends saw beneath the cracks and he can't even go back to see them anymore.

he cried in his hands the thought of the black cloud over his head, he wanted all of it stop. he just wanted to be happy and move on. mattia walked into the bathroom with fresh new tears on his face and yet again, stared on his own reflection.

his hair growing out even more now, his eyes have a couple of bags, his face just wasn't in good shape. he couldn't bring it up, he really couldn't.

he was really scared of himself.

he opened the mirror cabinet and reached for the razor box,

*trigger warning my loves, i'll let you know when it's over. i'm sorry..*

the italian examined the razor blade once again, he pulled up his sleeve, looking at his remaining scars. mattia took a deep breath and put the blade against his skin.

he exhaled sadly and stopped at two, he saw the blood run down his wrist and started to cry, even harder.

he wished for a re-do in life. he wished he wasn't so broken, he wished for everything to be perfect.

he did one of his dying wishes and that was to kiss the love of his life.
he picked up the blade again and started to cut even more, some tears seeping & burning the cuts.

*end of TW, i'm sorry again loves.*
11:50 pm
kairi woke up with a text from leilani, he honestly forgot she had his number so he was confused at first.