Chosen by Karalina >Book 2

Chapter 3

〰️Leonardo Pov〰️

This week has seen the weakest part of me, even worse so while I stand on this wet sand as I watch them placing the coffin slowly in the ground. Not much people were here, it was how I wanted it to be. It was the way Karalina would've wanted it, she would prefer it to be a small gathering for a peaceful goodbye. Only close family. I let out a sigh as mamma softly rubs my back as if to say everything will be okay. It will never be okay I tell myself, this will forever be a burden on my heart.

I crumbled infront of the doctor when she told me they tried everything to revive her.. It was my fault. Everything that occurred. All of this bullshit, for what? A life was taken from me. A life that belonged to me in such a short time had been erased from my life before our lives could even begin together, in a flash, while I was making other plans? Was this my punishment for all I have done wrong? Was this the karma I receive. Taking innocence for all the bad men I rid the world from? If so, it was an unfair punishment. Or was it a trade? The decision I made to keep Karalina for myself and not give her back to the people who has lost her. Did God want me to feel what losing a loved one feels like? Would I regret my decision now? Probably not. I would've done anything to always have her by my side. I lost her before and even then I crumbled.

I wasn't even sure which name to put on the tomb stone, when they asked I had no words. Which name would Karalina want on the tomb stone? I was so out of bounce. Mamma helped me decide. She has really been helping me this past five days and giving me a headache at the same time.. So I went with the name more fitting Karalina would like.

The flowers I chose were Karalina's favorite of course. Tulips and peonies. I don't know why she liked them so much, but she did. I made sure she got them every Wednesday, once the florist called to say they will be out of season soon.. It baffled me why he was making his problem mine, of course he made a new arrangement.

I was never going to disappoint Karalina and make excuses. Explaining myself was the most complicated thing when it came to Karalina. I feel like she purposely tried to make my life difficult, kept me on my toes that's for sure. Maybe that's what I liked most about her, there were these challenges I saw myself in with her. She would pick a fight with me about issues that are self explanatory. God, I miss her so much. My life will never be whole without her.

This has taught me to never take the ones you love for granted. You'd think I learnt my lesson with Alessandro. Both of them did the same stupid thing for me. Why do people feel the need to jump infront of a bullet for me, I don't even deserve it. I should've been taken. Not her.

The next day I found myself at the same place I have been at everyday since I received the sad news.

"Atleast their skin looks a bit better." I tell mamma as I look at my daughter's in the incubator. I remember seeing them the first time, it was hard to see my girls like that. I never knew anything like this was possible. I felt like God himself was trying to show me things through a different light. They looked weird, they still look weird. But at first sight their skin was raw like, you could see their veins like their skin was see through. There were so much tubes, due to their lungs which were not strong enough for them to breathe on their own.

"They have alot of growing to do. We almost got a scare with this one." She points to baby number two who stopped breathing at 3am in the morning. When I received the call I wish Karalina was by my side.. My heart lurched out of my chest, these kids stuff were giving me more problems already then any of my business all put together, legal and illegal.

"Yeah, she's a fighter. She better not do it again." I point at her as if she can follow my instruction accordingly.

Mamma laughs at me. "You'll do fine with them" She says between laughs. "They going to be a handful I can just tell.. Especially this one." She point to baby number 1. Who has the strangest hair color. All three were actually born with different hair colors. I'll never forget when Mamma saw them the she asked what superfecundation was happening here. I laughed at this even though I shouldn't, she was mocking my wife again. Like she always does, but discretely of course. Not like with Vera and Alicia.. Poor women.

I watch as the babies gain oxygen support through a ventilator. I hate seeing them in this form. "Mamma, do you think they suffering because of my mistakes?" I ask softly.

"They will be fine. Everything happens for a reason, stop being so glum. You will see." She looks over to me, clears her throat and looks back to the incubator. "You know your father has been running.."

I let out a sigh before she can finish. "Then let him."

"You are needed, much needed. He said it's pointless without you by his side when everyone knows you are running things now... My advice to you is.. Take a long vacation. But if you give up, the family will look weak. You will look weak."

"If you going to bring this up here, you are not welcome to come by anymore.. Okay? I am thinking about it. Nobody said anything was set in stone and I don't need anyone to tell me when and how I should take vacation. If pappa wants to tell me something let him say it to my face, why is he sending you?"

"He didn't send me" She surprises me by admitting how selfish she actually is.

I scoff and shake my head side to side bewildered by my family and how they can never just give me a focking break. It's as if I was brought on this earth to make them happy and not have a life of my own. "I'm going to leave Italy permanently, I just thought you should know that. I won't be coming back and forth. I've decided this before.."

"Before the wedding I know.. Your father caught on what you were doing, he was actually proud of you taking over and the way you did it."

Im getting annoyed with their one track minds.. "It's not exactly what you think. I have alot going on now so my plans will change."

She snickers. "My God, you just going to throw away an empire you built from scratch just like that?" She looks over to me. "What's happening with the casino?"

I snap my head over to her, mouth agape. How does she know about that. "It's not your concern. Whatever you heard or whatever you believe, don't."

She looks taken a back with questions in her eyes as they travel all around my face figuring out my expression.

"I'm not in the mood, mamma. I'm sorry. But I don't want to do this shit anymore." I can feel my emotions taking over when I look to her my eyes brimming with tears I can't hold in anymore. "My heart is broken." My voice cracks and I can tell she feels bad for her persistent bickering.

There's a knock on the window behind us. We both turn to find a overjoyed Joey motioning for me to come out the room. He comes everyday even though his not allowed inside, he watches the babies from behind the glass like a kid who's not allowed in a candy store. They only allowed two consecutive people incase of infections.

"I swear, if he tries to tell me another joke I'm going to knock him out." I tell mamma and she places her hand behind my head with a chuckle and pulls me closer to place a kiss on the side of my head. Joey's been trying to 'lift my spirits', what he had said actually moved me a bit. Made me realize how grown up he is, compared to the other brothers. Said after everything I did for them it was the least he could do and tell me some jokes. I don't know who told this kid he was funny though. Probably Karalina. No one in my family would lie to him about something so annoying.

"Guess what?" He beams as we come out of the closed room.

"What Joey?" I sigh out, expecting a dry joke.

"She's awake!" He smiles so big.

My heart stops and my breathing slows down. I point at him. "Now is no time for jokes."

"She's awake." Still beaming. "And guess what?"

"What?" I say smiling about to run to her.

"Her memory's back." He smiles and I turn to him my smile falling from my face. Mamma stands with a look of concern and doubt.