[GODSFORRENT Special] Seven-Minute Semblance in Quarantine

Online Classes #1

Lance Ducere created the group INTRO TO CRIM [SMS]

[Edward Dace is online]

[JL Uresonderry is online]

[Lance Ducere is online]

Lance: My first online class and half my students are a no-show.

Edward: For starters, half your students didn't have Wi-Fi connection.

Edward: Or a phone.

Edward: Or the will to attend classes.

Edward: I'm just here because I accidentally opened the group chat.

Lance: For someone who claims to be unwilling to participate in this online class, napakadaldal mo.

Edward: I type fast.

Lance: Great, you'll be our secretary. Take down notes for Futhark and Laevateinn.

Edward: Ok.

Lance: You can't use speech-to-text apps.

Edward: Even if I'm the one who developed the app?

Lance: I tYpE fAsT.

Edward: Did you just—

Lance:

Edward: Stop that we're in an online class set-up!

Lance: I'm jUsT hERe BeCauSe I aCciDeNtAlly oPeNeD tHe GroUp ChaT.

Edward: No I'm here because I wanna learn!

Lance: What a nerd.

Edward: I don't know what to say.

Lance: Anyway let's do an attendance check. I see Jule online but he's not saying anything. We can't start the Zoom with just you and me.

JL: I was judging you all in the background.

Lance: Please disconnect.

[Kiel Gomez is online]

Kiel: SIR NAKACONNECT NA POAKO NAGSTART NA PO BA KLADR NG CRUMAIFJ

Kiel: *Klase

Kiel: *Crimonsik)

Edward: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lance: Futhark are you alright?

Kiel: OK LANH PO AKO SIT MAHIBA PI SIBAL SA APARATNEVT JO JAYS UMAYKAT OI AJI NG OUNO

Lance: Edward you're the language expert, what's he saying?

Edward: "Ok lang po ako sir, mahina po signal sa apartment ko kaya umakyat po ako ng puno."

Lance: YOU WHAT?!

Edward: I'm craughing.

Lance: Seriously, are you boys doing fine?

Edward: Ok po ako rito sa dorm, may sapat po akong stock hanggang sa sunod na update ng Webtoon ni Kuya Gil.

JL: Yes.

Kiel: SINO PO MAT COBBECTION KATU MATTOE

Edward: Oi sino raw may connection kay mayor.

Lance: Why?

Kiel: KAULANGAN K OPO NG TULING DAHUL SIMIDINGIL NA PI AJO SA RENTA TAPOS GIDNI AH IBINAYARSN NG MVA PINAGTATARANJAIJN JO TAOUD YJNG TUBID AG KURYENTA

Edward: Sinisingil na raw po s'ya sa renta tapos hindi s'ya binayaran sa trabaho n'ya tapos pati raw po 'yung tubig at kuryente.

Lance: Futhark do you want to stay in quarantine with me? Kawawang-kawawa ka sa apartment mo, kumain ka na ba?

Kiel: OK LANG PO AKO SIR SAKA

[Kiel Gomez is offline]

Edward: Baka nawalan na po ng signal si Futhark.

Lance: I'll check on all of you later on.

JL: Please do, I hate it here.

Lance: The people around you hate you more than you hate them.

JL: I got stuck in a highway.

Lance: YOU WHAT?!

JL: I was on my way home to Pampanga but soldiers barricaded the road. Some were forced to walk the way home. This is outrageous.

Lance: Where are you? Since when have you been stuck?

JL: Last night.

Edward: Dude!

JL: I'm having coffee with the policemen here. They are nice. But gracious goodness, Lance, the heat! It's bloody sweltering!

Edward: Bakit ka kasi nagkakape kung mainit?

Lance: I'm picking you up too.

Edward: Ako rin sir

Lance: Why? I thought you're doing well?

Edward: Eeehhh kasi susunduin mo si Futhark tapos si drama queen, tapos malay mo madaanan mo sa kung saang gubat si Lae... tapos ako lang wala d'yan, kawawa naman ako mag-isa lang dito sa dorm.

Lance: You do realize you boys have your own family.

JL: Thanks for picking me up, dad.

Edward: THANK YOU PO TATANG.

Lance: ...

Lance: Let's dismiss class. Kailangan kong kumuha ng passes para sa inyo.

Edward: Gooood bye and thank you, Sir daaad.

[Edward Dace is offline]

[JL Uresonderry is offline]

[Lance Ducere is offline]

[Kiel Gomez is online]

Kiel: OK LANG PO AKO SIR SAKA MAY AYUDA NAMAN PO GALING BARANGAY.

Kiel: NAKAAKYAT NA PO AKO SA MAS MATAAS NA PUNO, START NA PO BA ANG KLASE?

Kiel: Sir?

====================

Ciao, HeadphonesAndLuck here!

I'd like to thank PeppermintDaydreams and our child AllHailMichaelis for the ideas in this kinda epistolary (does it count as one?), kinda chatroom-ish story where SMS experiences lockdown.

This was meant purely for comedy's sake, and I hope everyone's safe and doing fine in this trying time. Don't forget to wash your hands and practise safety precautions!