F*cking cliché

51

I decided to visit Levi.. I couldn't live with myself, just like he predicted.

The room looked like a tiny living room, but the four guards took down the cosy feeling.

'What are you doing here?'

His voice sounds dead.. he broke on the last second.. the last second before we got separated and clearly he was still broken.

This is so stupid.. I broke the one who seemed to be unbreakable.

My hands are shaking, my whole body is trembling.. how could I have possibly done something like this to him. Yes he's my enemy and all but.. I still love him.

I move closer to him and try to touch his hands, hold them.. since that calms him down.

'Calum Leave,' he mutters and moves his hands away from mine.

'Levi I'm..'
'I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses neither do I want to see your pathetic face ever again,' he pushes me back, 'I fucking trusted you!'

Immediately guards jump on him.

'I swear.. just leave me alone, go.. run to your dad who doesn't fucking love you!' 'I'm so..' 'Sorry? What did you think would happen? Leave my sight Calum.'

'Can you guys leave.. it's not like he can.. leave.'

With a bit of persuasion I get the guards to leave the room.

Tears start to role down my face.. how could I be this stupid.

'Don't you dare to start crying! You're not the one who's locked up here.
You couldn't even give me a better place could you? It's hell between these walls. I would've preferred to go to prison.'

My throat starts to dry out like I have been walking in the desert all day.

'I'm going to get you out of here,' I state.
'Don't even bother!'
'Levi,' I try to grab his hands but again it isn't effective, 'Please.'
'I want nothing to do with you.. leave my fucking sight or I will personally infect you with the virus.'

I swallow deeply.

'Please.. I'm begging you.'
'Are you? If you were begging you would be on your knees.'

I move slowly trembling all over as I lower myself to the ground.

'Calum get up I swear.'

'This is how you like to see me right? At your feet,' I mumble.
'Calum get up.'

I still refuse.

A loud groan fills the room as he pulls me up.

'As much as I love to see you under me.. it's not going to happen ever again.'
'Levi.. it's not just about sex,' I mutter, 'you know I love you.'
'I thought I knew.. now get out.'

Defeated I walk out the door.

Just when I about to close the door I hear quiet sobs.

I walk back in.

'Levi are you crying?'
'I thought you left?'

I walk back to him.. this time succeeding in holding his hands.

'Dammit Cal leave.'
'Why? Because you don't want to see me or because you don't want me to see you like this?' I question without realising it.
'Both,' he mumbles, 'Now leave.'

I hadn't seen him in tears before and
I couldn't bare seeing him like this.. seeing him hurt.. seeing him depressed. It was my fault.. I did this to him. And for what? Finally proving my dad I was someone? Finally feeling loved by the one that raised me?

He forgot my birthday.. he didn't show up at Christmas or new years.. where Levi did. Maybe not the way you would normally celebrate but.. he was there for me.

Yes he kidnapped me when it was my birthday and yes he tied me up with Christmas lights and laughed at how pathetic I looked trying to get free but.. at least he remembered.
He really doesn't deserve to be here.

'I don't care if you infect me with the virus.. just let me get you out of here. Let me correct my mistakes, I'm just a human.. I tend to make mistakes,' I take a deep breath, 'And if correcting my mistake is leading to my death.. so be it.'

'Since when are you the one with a death wish?' He replies.

I didn't expect that response.. I expected him to tell me everything was all right. Even though I knew deep down he would never do that this quickly.

'Death is the thing you fear the most. Why throw your life away? If you expect me to spare you or take back my words.. you are wrong.'

He was right.. I feared death.. I feared it more than I feared heights.. more than I feared small rooms.. more than I feared spiders. I had been afraid to die since the day that this all started.. why did I just say something like that.

'I.. I,' I take a deep breath, 'I just..'
'Stop it Calum I don't have time to hear your bullshit.'

'You don't get it! I.. what can I do to make you trust me again? What can I do to at least be in your life again?!'

I start to panic while he seemed to cool down.

'There's nothing you can do.'

His words only made me panic more.

'Please.. I love you.. I don't want this, us, to end! Who else is going to lock me up in my own closet at new years eve? Who else is going to..'
'Stop your rambling,' he says coldly.

'Please.. I would do anything to make you trust me again.'
'Anything?' He repeats, 'Don't make such stupid claims I know you wouldn't.' 'I'm serious.' 'How serious?'
'The ask-me-to-jump-of-a-bridge-and-I-would-do-it kind of serious.'

He's quiet after that.. I don't know if I can consider it to be a good thing or not.. is he thinking about my words or is he waiting for me to leave?

It takes ages before he talks again.

'Calum, break that girl you work with.. maybe I'll reconsider my feelings for you after.'

That came out of nowhere.. is he out of his mind!?

'Rose? W.. why?' I stutter.
'She's getting in our way, she tried to break us up from day one,' he states casually. 'But..'
'Calum.. break her.. mentally drain her. Make sure she's only a human shell. Maybe if you manage that I want to see you again.'

My stomach starts twisting and my world starts spinning. He wants me to hurt one of the only friends I have and for what? A maybe?

'Calum.. tik tok.'
'You never said that before.'
'Because you never worked for me.'

I refuse to leave the room, I need to make this right, but this isn't the right way.

'Are you sure there's nothing else I can do for you?' I whisper.

He lifts me up by my collar and his eyes soften.

'How did you lose this much weight in just two days?' He puts me down again, 'You do eat right?' 'Yeah.'
'I can't beat you up if your own body gives up on you first.'

I feel how my knees get weak and I grab onto him for support.

'Ho hey.. why are you fainting?'

In the corner of my eyes I could see the guards coming back in as I grab onto Levi even tighter.
He loops his arm around me and basically drags me over to a chair.

'Are you alright?'
'I like this side of you more than the aggressive side,' I mumble with a weak smile.
'Too bad you won't see it anymore after today.' 'Yeah.. too bad.'

His hand softly strokes my cheek taking a piece of my hair and placing it back behind my ear.

'Just do what I asked you and everything will be decently normal again.'