F*cking cliché

06

We went to her apartment..
I actually spent the night on her couch.
I was afraid to go home.. afraid he would be there.. afraid he would ring my door.
Which he would.. of course he would.

I'll never be safe again.
My tasks now is to just keep out of his way.. as easy as that right?

I sigh with the thought of it.. I would be hiding until he left the city or got captured.

'What's wrong Calum?'

Her slightly worried voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn around to face her, arms wrapped around a pillow.

'I'm just afraid.. that's all,' I mumble.
'Calum,' she sighs, 'don't be.'
'If he finds me he will most probably take my life.' She shakes her head.
'No Calum. If he finds you he might beat you up but.. if he kills you.. we can turn him in and that would ruin his plans.'

I should feel at least a bit better but..
I don't feel better at all. The world still feels like it's going to collapse under my feet.. like it's going to pull me into the darkness underneath it.

'Calum it's going to be fine, you can sleep in my apartment as long as you like,' she states with a friendly smile covering her face. 'Thank you.'
She nods and walks off.

I turn on my back staring at the ceiling.

The thoughts about what might have happened to me if I stayed there or couldn't escape haunt my mind and keep on circling around.

I just wasn't ready to be part of this whole secret organisation.. that didn't stop my dad though.

I received a message saying I was expected at work the next day.. I didn't even know where to go, they picked me up.

There was a reason I dropped out of the preparation study, or whatever they call it, I never cared enough to learn the proper name.

I stopped because I knew I would never be strong enough to deal with bad people.

I knew I would never get on well with someone who potentially had murders on their name.

My dad? He didn't care, he just put me on the case expecting Rose and Felix to guide me, help me.

Felix was pissed and if I tell him I failed at keeping myself hidden from the enemy he'll probably be even more pissed off.

I should've just asked them to fire me before I even started but deep down I knew I wanted this, I want to mean something to the world.. I want to prove my dad he made the right choice to not abandon me.

But now all of that would be flushed down the toilet.. I fucked everything up in two days, that's a new record.

'Here you need to eat something.'

The smell of eggs and bacon pull me out of my thoughts again.
I wasn't hungry but I wasn't about to turn down some bacon.

I sit up and take the plate from her eating the food slowly, not afraid of it cooling down. I've always been a slow eater and people always hated it.
I don't really care.. just let me eat.

'Calum,' she sits down next to me, 'when are you going to tell me what happened?' I sigh and close my eyes.
'Can I finish eating first?' 'Sure.'

That makes me eat even slower.

I slowly put the plate on the coffee table and prepare myself for the conversation I'm going to have.

'So..' 'So,' she repeats. 'So.. he noticed me and that's about it,' I mumble.
'Really? That's all?' 'Yup.'
'Okay.. why did he leave you behind?'
'Someone came up to his door, talking about a problem at work and he left after that.'

Why I lie or tell everything so vaguely.. I really don't know. I'm just afraid that the more I tell her.. how closer my resignation will be.

'Alright.. I'm going to work, are you joining me or should I call you in sick?' 'No.. no.. I'll come.'

I don't want to be alone, besides I don't want to miss my third day.

'

'Calum what are your thoughts on this?' 'Hm?' I look up.
'You weren't listing were you?'
'I'm sorry.'
Felix mutters something I can't understand. 'Felix! It's all new to him, let him be!' 'We need to babysit him!'

I roll my eyes and zone out of the conversation again.

'Calum?' 'Hm?'
'Okay we're going out tonight, because you need distraction.' 'Okay.'

I didn't want to.. I'm not a party animal, neither did I like being in public. But she's trying to help and I don't want to let her down.

'Are you sure that's smart?'
'I'm with him, I can keep an eye on him.'

It's like I'm a child who needs to be watched over.. they're treating me like a child.

'Anyway back to the point, Calum I'm going to teach you how to defend yourself and fight, this will be after working hours but you clearly need it.' 'Do you really want to spend your free time doing that?' I mutter.
'I need too,' he states, 'I don't want to make the boss mad and you being captured will upset him.'

Sounds lovely Felix.. lovely.

'

And that's how I end up in a club I really don't want to be at.

At least Rose seems to be enjoying herself.. since I lost her.