Chapter One

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To everyone,

01. I wish you knew I was not at peace.

Hayley's POV

"Anger, Hayley, is never the solution." Confined within the suffocating white walls, I had no choice but to sit across from my psychiatrist and pour out my frustrations to her on a regular basis–courtesy of Drayton for the past three years.

She was strikingly beautiful, completely different from what I expected when Drayton informed me that I would be needing counselling. She was tall—at least for a woman. Standing about 5'7 and her slender and petit psychic added to the illusion that she was much taller. She had black silky hair that swept down her back like a waterfall.

Her skin was pale, a bit too pale for my liking but it complemented her striking blue eyes which you couldn't miss at first glance. When she smiled, her face would light up, it was a sight all too welcoming. At first, I thought it was just a trick to get me to trust her, but eventually, I realized that's who she was, a fairly cheerful person.

Considering her job, I'm impressed. "Mrs. M, please, we've been going over this for a very long time, the medication just isn't working." That's a lie, the medication does work I just don't want to continue taking them. I feel trapped behind bars unable to break free as I watch the world pass on through rusted metal.

I feel imprisoned in my own mind.

"Or maybe you're just not taking them. I'm betting if I make a phone call to your brother right now and ask him how many pills are in that bottle he'll give me a number between 20 and 25."

A chuckle broke free from my lips as frustration boiled beneath my skin. Why can't she just listen? That was her job, right? To listen. "These pills are making me psychotic."

"'No these pills are putting your mind at ease, their purpose is to relax you, ease your mind, emotions and thoughts and prevent you from having angry and depressive episodes."

Motioning toward myself, I waved my hands exasperatedly, trying to bring my point across. "These pills are making me a living, breathing zombie. It's obvious I'm not on them right now because I'm not walking around like the living dead!"

She arched her brows questionably and leaned back into her seat. "Hayley please take your medication. You won't like it if I call your brother because he will force it down your throat so to prevent any conflict between you two do what you have to do."

I could do nothing but nod numbly, refusing to meet her eyes as I hiked my school bag onto my shoulder and bid her goodbye before sauntering out of the room. I enclosed my fingers around the handle of the door and slammed it shut, part of me waiting to hear a crash.

The last time I slammed her door shut the walls shook to the point where her picture frame came crashing down. I compensated for my burst of anger with money but according to Doctor Maxine taking my medication was payment enough.

I didn't want to. Anti-depressants are supposed to help you feel like yourself again, however, it had the opposite effect on me. I'm emotionally numb, calm, usually tired and not like myself in any way unless someone triggers it like taking me out to have fun. It's become such a huge factor in my daily life I often forget the me on medication isn't who I really am.

I'd forgotten who I was.

When I made it outside, I didn't expect to see that familiar black Honda parked near the curb, possibly waiting for me. Inside was my best friend since the day I came into this earth: Landon Carmichael and his god-awful girlfriend who just so happens to be my ex-best friend, Vanessa Yamen.

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