To Drayton,
03. I wish you knew I was sorry. . .for not punching her.
Hayley's POV
As I stared down at the bottle in my hand, I couldn't help but recall what had happened yesterday. Without my medication, I revert to this unhinged person who acts before they speak, which was the cause of me hitting Landon.
I hit my best friend.
I'm confused as to whether I should feel bad about that or proud.
I know that I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I know that most of the time I suffocate the people around me with my own problems and I know I can be unbearable. But that doesn't give him the right to bring up the two things that made me this way.
The two things that have triggered the inner turmoil I've been experiencing ever since fourth grade. He had no right, not even to just be a hero for Vanessa. But then again I had no right to put my hands on him, I wouldn't like it if someone hit me just because I insulted them.
Should I apologize or leave him to feel guilty about it? Maybe he can deal with the guilt for a few days, it'll do him some good and let him think about the shit I've been through for the past few years.
Maybe he'll understand why I'm so hurt about what Vanessa did to me. Imagine loving your best friend for all these years and then getting rejected by him, and to add insult to injury, your other best friend starts dating him a month later without ever consulting with you and asking you how you felt about it.
And you're supposed to sit there and accept it without any sort of retaliation for your own feelings? Yeah, when pigs can fly.
My retaliation toward Vanessa is to make her experience the same thing she did when she enrolled in this school. I wanted to make her realize what it's like to not have friends and make her miss what she's lost: people who supported and stood by her side when others had such awful things to say about her.
Now, she has the support of her boyfriend. Maybe that'll keep her head on straight.
Not that I care.
Not anymore.
I'm going to make her suffer if she even comes near me. And as for Landon, he can suffer from guilt and if he's not, the time will eventually come.
Popping the cap open, I retrieved two pills from inside and downed them in one go, not bothering to drink any water. After taking pills for such a long time, this gets easier.
"Drayton!" I yelled as I sauntered out of the bathroom. When I arrived at the entrance of the kitchen, I made a beeline toward him, immediately flinging myself into his arms, hugging him tightly. "bogo sipeosseo."
His palm fell onto my head, and per usual—despite how many times I've told him that patting my head feels as if he were patronizing me—he still did it. "I missed you too, Hayles."
Though it's only been a few hours since I've seen him, within those hours it feels like months. Drayton and I were attached at the hip despite the fact that he is nine years older than me. If he wasn't out with friends or neither was I, we'd spend every day during the summer together, both on vacation and at home.
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