Amira Victory Jones Saturday 23rd October 2020 13:20pm|Crayford ==================================== (This is very sensitive chapter and it gives you an insight on Amira's pats, so please keep that in mind)
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My heart hurt. I didn't want to give Paris the satisfaction of letting her know her words hit me but I felt like I was slowly breaking. After everything that had happened yesterday, he still went to go see her. Why her? Why not me? Wha did she have that I didn't? Was I not enough for him? Was he that desperate for someone else that he had to stoop as low to someone I considered as family. If he didn't want me he could've just said but he didn't have to put me through the pain I was feeling now.
I told my mum I was staying at Savannah's for the rest of the weekend even though that was probably a bad idea because he lived here but she was the only person I could talk to right now. I got up looking at the mirror that laid near the window in her bedroom, staring at my body. Picking out all my insecurities and imperfections that I could find. I promised myself I would never let a man break me down like this especially after my dad. But I couldn't help it. I was letting it happen again. I felt like I was slowly losing myself again. My dad had the biggest impact on the way I am today and I hated it.
Flashback 5-year-old Amira was up in her bedroom playing with her little dolls combing out the little tangles that were in their hair from the braids that she had previously put in them. That was before she heard a loud crash and yelling coming from downstairs where both her parents were. It was hard to believe her parents ever loved each other especially by the way they treated each other.
Amira's dad would come home late in the afternoon or sometimes at night completely drunk and verbally abuse her mother. It would get to the point where he would actually hit her and force her to do things she didn't want to do. But he loved his daughter you would've thought he would never put his hands on her or touch her in ways she didn't want to be touched but that was not the case. He loved her ways a father should never love his child.
She was pure and innocent but he ripped the innocence away from her. He took away her childhood from her. He touched her in ways you would never imagine. He looked at her in ways a father should never look at his daughter. He violated her. She was only five. She couldn't help herself. She didn't know what he was doing to her but she knew it was wrong. She would scream for help but her mother would be laying almost dead in the kitchen in a pool of her own blood from the hits she had received.
This happened for years until her mother finally put it to the end. He had driven her to the edge and she couldn't take it anymore. She had to protect her daughter even if it meant putting herself in harms way. She couldn't let it continue.
One night when he had come back wasted like normal, she grabbed a knife hiding it behind her back. He grabbed her and choked her pushing her against the wall until she couldn't breathe. That's when she plunged it in. Watching him fall onto the floor with blood pooling out of him. She watched the life drain from his eyes as his eyes rolled back into his head. She grabbed her daughter and ran. She never turned back.
Ever since then Amira lost her faith in God. She didn't understand why He would let something like that happen to her for so long. She no longer understood her purpose. Everything happened for a reason but she didn't see the reason behind it. What she didn't know was God put his toughest soldiers through the hardest battles. But she didn't see herself as tough, she thought she was weak for not being able to fight him off.
But she was now ageing. She had to let it go. But what that man did would forever be on her mind.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1Peter 5: 10-11 Flashback over
She didn't realise Savannah had come into the room as she was so invested into her own thoughts. She could feel the tears running down her pretty face but she didn't have the energy to wipe them away so she later them run. She couldn't take her eyes away from the mirror her eyes were stuck to her reflection. All Amira could see was that same weak five-year-old staring back at her.
Amira was broken away from her thoughts when she felt Savannah's hand on her shoulder making her jump slightly. She was glad she still had one person she could trust in. Savannah had known what had happened in her childhood. Luckily, she never told Paris as she knew one day she would use it against her because Paris was just that type of person.
"Come on let's get some fresh air," Savannah said staring at Amira with her eyes slightly watering. She hated to see her best friend like this. Amira looked so broken. She didn't know how to help her friend except for just being there for her so that's exactly what she was going to do.
