Guddan and Akshat - Made for Each Other

Chapter 23 - The Pain

Akshat (teary-eyed, looking down, slow voice) - Vikram sach keh raha tha. Maine hi maar daala apni Antara ko.

Guddan turns back, looks at him, shocked.
However, she composes herself in a few seconds.

Guddan (walking back to him, sitting besides him and holding his hand) - Hum nahi maante. Chahe koi kuch bhi keh le, chahe aap khud bhi keh le, hum nahi maan sakte yeh baat. Aap, jinki aankhon mein aaj bhi Antaraji ke liye itna pyaar hai, unhe khone ka dardd bhara hua hai aapke andar, aap aisa kabhi nahin kar sakte. Aap toh Antaraji ko chott pahunchane ke baare mein soch bhi nahi sakte, toh unhe maar kaise sakte hain?

Akshat (shrugging off her hand, shouting) - Jaanti kya ho tum mere baare mein? Main keh raha hun na maine maara hai Antara ko. (chocked voice, a tear rolling down his cheek) Maine maar daala usse.

Guddan - Haan, hum aapko bahut zyada nahi jaante, par itna toh jaante hi hain ki, aap kisi paraye ko bhi takleef nahi de sakte. Itna toh jaante hi hain aapke baare mein ki, aapke parivaar mein aapki jaan basti hai. Itna toh jaante hi hain ki Antaraji aapki saansen thi, tabhi toh aisi bejaan zindagi jee rahe hain aap, unke jaane ke baad. Itna toh jaante hi hain ki aaj agar aapne Vikramji ke saare ilzaam chupchaap sune, toh woh sirf isliye ki woh Antaraji se jude hain, itna pyaar karte hain aap Antaraji se. Aap kabhi unhe nahi maar sakte. Aur aap toh kya, agar Lord Krishna bhi aake humse yeh baat kahen na, toh bhi hum nahi maanenge.

He couldn't control his tears anymore. The weight of her trust broke the dams of his tears, that he had closed for so long. He burst into tears, his face buried in his palms. Guddan couldn't see him like that, fragile, weak and vulnerable. She kneeled down on the floor before him and held his hands.

Guddan (tears flowing from her eyes) - Aap please shaant ho jaiye. Hum aapko aise nahi dekh sakte. Please. Please chup ho jaiye.

Akshat looked at her. She removed his glasses, wiped his tears and put his glasses back.

Guddan (holding his hands) - Humein poori baat bataiye. Kya hua tha Antaraji ke saath.

Akshat (standing up) - Antara ko brain tumour tha, jo bahut der se detect hua. Uske bachne ka ek hi raasta tha, operation. Par bahut risky tha woh operation. Antara operation nahi karana chahti thi. Jo bhi baaki ke din thhe, wo usse mere saath, apne parivaar ke saath bitaana chahti thi. Par mujhe uska saath thode se dinon ke liye kahan manjoor thha, mujhe toh woh humesha ke liye mere paas chahiye thhi. (walking towards the wall, turning away from her) Agar operation nahi hota, toh uska jaana tai thha. Bas kuch hi din bachche thhe uske paas. Aur bina koshish kiye haar manna, yeh main nahi kar sakta thha. Mujhe pura yakeen thha ki operation zaroor successful hoga. Haan risk thha, par mujhe yakeen tha ki woh thik ho jayegi. Mujhe yakeen thha ki bhagwan aisi nainsafi nahi kar sakte mere saath. Meri zindagi, meri Antara ko nahin chhin sakte mujhse. Woh zaroor thik ho jayegi aur yeh operation hi ek raasta tha. Best surgeon, best hospital, I was sure of a miracle. Par Antara ko bhorasa nahi tha. Shayad woh andar hi andar haar maan chuki thi, ki agar yeh operation hua toh woh nahi bachegi. Woh operation ke liye bilkul raazi nahi thi. Par maine hi zidd ki, ki woh operation karwa le. Aur meri zidd ke aage, usse haar maanni padi. Uska darr sach ho gaya, jiss operation ko uski jaan bachani thi, ussi operation mein uski jaan chali gayi. Meri wajah se! Sirf meri wajah se! (punches the wall repeatedly) Maine maar daala usse! Maine!

Guddan rushes to him, unable to see him hurt himself, she tries to stop him. When he doesn't stop, she puts her palm in between Akshat's punch and the wall, to stop him from getting hurt.

Guddan - Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

As Guddan cries out in pain, Akshat regains his senses.

Akshat (holding her reddened palm, loud voice) - Yeh kya kiya tumne? Dikhao.