Starting Over {S.S}

14

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"So? Are you going to tell me or are you going to stare at the wall for another twenty minutes", Sebastian jokes as I snap out of my daze. I take notice of my trembling hands and slide them under my legs to stop them from shaking any more. "Sorry", I mutter. I take a deep breath and make eye contact with him. His eyes were bright and he genuinely seemed happy. How could I tell him now? When he's so happy and relaxed. "Dani", he sighs. He moves closer to me and drapes an arm around my shoulder. "You know I'm here for you, okay? I promise whatever you have to say won't change anything.

"Okay", I strain. I look down at my lap and start to explain everything like I had told the therapist. "You were in my dream, and so was Anthony and Chris". I continue to explain but I don't look at him. "We were engaged and then the morning after you proposed that's when everything went back to normal. You were gone, and so was Chris and Anthony. Your phone number was unavailable. The pictures of you and I were gone. My moms picture was in the house when in the dream I never spoke to her because I found out she lied to me about my real dad. It was all a dream", I say, and I feel my face heat up. "And then when I started to live this life again and try to adapt to this life, things from my dream began to come true, and it scared me. The therapist said that the dream could have been a foreshadowing", I finish. I had mentioned every single detail possible when explaining everything to him, because I didn't want to repeat myself again.

By now my mouth had ran dry and my face was irregularly warm. I turn to look at Sebastian and see that he's not looking at me and my heart sinks. I fumble with my fingers as I nervously look at my lap. The silence was agonizing and as the seconds passed, I felt tears build in my eyes from embarrassment. I stand up as the first tear rolls down my face and walk out of the house and away from Sebastian. I needed a moment to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating inside my house and with Sebastian's silence, I needed fresh air. I don't hear Sebastian call after me or follow me, so I continue walking, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down before I pass out.

I do the turn of the block before sitting down at the edge of my driveway, my head in my hands. I contemplate calling the therapist but shove my phone back in my pocket as I let the rays of sun hit my face. I understand he might be in shock, I would be too, but he could have at least said something. Anything. I sigh and stand up, heading back inside when I hear him talking. I peak into the living room and see him on the phone, his hands tugging at his hair. I turn away and walk into the kitchen to make dinner, knowing that despite what just happened, we still had to eat.

Not wanting to cook anything extravagant I decide to make pasta and a salad on the side. I begin to boil the water when I hear him clear his throat behind me. I keep my back turned towards him and set down the bag of pasta carefully. "Dani, please turn around", his voice sounded so small and I felt a jab at my heart. I have never heard him speak in that tone. I slowly turn around and keep my eyes trained on my shoes. "Dani, I'm not mad at you", he says softly. My head shoots up and I see his flustered face. "You're not?", I ask him, but my voice seems so small that I'm surprised he heard me.

"Why would I be? I mean it's unusual, believe me, but I'm not mad", he smiles a small smile and for a moment my mind is at ease. "I'm sorry", I blurt out. He walks closer towards me and grasps my hand in his, "There's nothing to be sorry for. Yes, this is something unusual and somewhat rare, but don't you it find cool?"

"Cool? Sebastian, I created an entire life with you in it that was fake, does that not seem insane to you?", I tell him as I pull my hand away. He shakes his head again, "So what? We all have weird dreams sometimes. And maybe having that dream was for the best"

"What do you mean by "for the best"?", I ask him as I tilt my head to the side. "We met, didn't we?". "Well, yeah, but aren't things going to be weird now? I dreamed you were my fiancé! I fabricated this entire life that wasn't even real. I loved you"

"I love you", he says calmly. His eye bore into mine and I have to look away as I register his words. "What?"

"I said, I love you", he smiles down at me. "You're just saying that", I mutter, "you don't really love me, you said you needed time", I add. He lifts my chin up so my eyes meet his once again and he smiles, "Life is too short for time, I love you and I know how I feel, okay? I love you and I want to be with you, Daniella. Whatever it takes"

"But what about-", his lips silence me before I can finish my sentence and instead of fighting him again, I give in and let myself fall into his arms. We go together, perfectly, like a puzzle piece. When we pull apart I look at him breathlessly. "What?", he laughs as his eyes scan my face. "I love you too"