Coffee II Jaehyun Fanfiction II

chapter 24: realisation

i shook my head as i scoffed. "i didn't mean to get angry at you. i apologise if i have offended you in any way but i would like you to rethink your decision and do something to get back with your family. they are waiting for you," i told him reassuringly. when he didn't reply, i understood he wanted to be alone so i left without another word. 

i didn't turn around and continued walking towards my house. i couldn't help but to wonder that this man looked so familiar to me. i was very disappointed with what the man said even though he's not part of my life. why was that? 

suddenly, i remembered the photo album. me looking through the photo album when i was cleaning my old stuff that day. i came across some photos of my dad, carrying me or smiling lovingly at me. but i could get only the side view. and i could also only get the side view of the man just now. and they were surprisingly similar.

my eyes widened as i thought, "maybe he is part of my life.." and turned around and ran towards the bench we both were sitting at. "he is my father. he is my dad." my thoughts kept reminding me but what my mother said contradicted them. my mother said my father was dead and that he could never come back but there he was. 

i reached the bench only to be disappointed. there was no one there. i was panting heavily not because i ran but because i was about to break down in the middle of a park. he left. i found my dad, who apparently claimed to be dead by my mother, and i lost him. i lost my dad again.

i covered my eyes and let the tears wet the palms of my hands. i sobbed lightly. "i could have noticed him sooner" was the only thing on my mind at the moment. reminding myself that i am at a park crying alone, i wiped my tears and dragged myself towards my house. i was angry with my mother for not telling me the truth, it would not be like she didn't know he didn't die and that he just chose to leave us for the sake of us. 

i pressed in the passcode and entered the house. "i'm home," my solemn voice spoke and my mother immediately asked me what was wrong. i ignored her and walked towards her room. she followed me into her room while continuing to question my actions. i sat down on her bed and reached out for the photo of the four of us; mom, dad, joy and me. picking it up in my hands, i slid my thumb against my dad.

i felt the bed press down as my mom sat beside me. from my peripheral vision, i could tell she looked sad as she looked at dad. "mom." i spoke without turning to look at her. she hummed in reply. "how did dad die again?" i asked her the question i always asked when i was a kid. she answered calmly, "he died in an accident."

"are you sure?" i questioned and looked into her eyes, finding for the truth. she hid it so well. but she seemed taken aback by the sudden questioning and cleared her throat. then she placed her hand on mine, "why are you asking me this again? haven't you heard the story enough?" i sniffled softly and said, "yes, i know but i think i saw something that is reasonable for me to ask you this again."

"and what is that?" 

"i think i saw dad." her eyes widened and her hands started shaking vigorously. "mom, mom! what's wrong?" i quickly grabbed the water bottle from her night stand and asked her to drink it slowly, sip by sip. i knelt down on the floor while leaning on my mother's legs. she finally calmed down. sighing deeply, she gave in, "well, i think there's no need to hide from you now. you are 27 years old and you deserve to know it." 

i looked at her, curious as to whether she is going to continue to deny it or say the truth. she spoke again. "your dad and i fell in love deeply and we always longed to be in each other's arms. but we couldn't. your dad is half indian, half korean and i am full korean. my parents were against me meeting him because of our cultural and racial differences but it didn't stop us from eloping and getting married. we worked hard to save money before and after getting married and we thought our lives couldn't get any better than it already was."