Againts all Odds || Dick Grayson [1]

25| Hardest to Love

***

I thought a shower would held wash away all the memories from tonight, what happened in the asylum was something that I wanted to move past and forget. All attempts of putting the past behind me failed and all I could do was sit at the edge of the bed and drown in my own thoughts.

A small knock at the door brought be back to this cold bedroom and out of the equally cold waters of the asylum. For a moment I considered ignoring it, knowing how easy it would be to pretend that I was asleep. Even if sleep seemed like an impossible task at the moment.

But maybe because I knew it was him I opened the door. His hair was a mess and there were dark circles under his eyes from the exhaustion that we all shared. But my eyes landed on the two mugs in his hand, at first I wanted to fool myself and believe it was coffee but I knew better. "Can I come in?"

I stepped aside allowing him to enter and as he did he handed me the mug of hot chocolate. Dick looked just as uncomfortable as I felt, which was odd between us. Usually all our interactions and conversations came naturally.

"Just like old times." I said in a mocking tone as I took my seat at the edge of the bed, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself the memory was painful. Memories like these were the ones that I was able to successfully escape and not think about them often. They were memories that were better left unthought to make my life go on much easier.

"Come on Cheyenne we both know your heart isn't in it tonight." Dick stated standing awkwardly on the foot of the bed, it seemed that even he didn't know why he was here. That if he could he would just walk out. I wished he would because after all these years I had grown accustomed to the loneliness that came with the path that I had chosen. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Are you? That place clearly did a number on you too." I replied the silence from him only confirmed my words. "You can sit you know."

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before he sat, normally I would have commented on his behavior or poked fun. But he was right tonight my heart simply wasn't in it. The silence that consumed us seemed to stretch on as I looked down at the mug in my hands. I remembered how hot chocolate was our drink of choice, after having to endure drinking tea for most of the day. "I have to say I kind of miss Alfred's tea."

Dick chuckled, yet I still noticed the underlying sadness in it. Maybe he did miss his days in Wayne Manor but he was never going to admit it out loud or to himself. "Yeah, me too."

"I'm fine. I don't really remember much." I found myself saying, maybe if he heard what he came here for he would leave. That way neither of us had to suffer from our inability to speak sincerely to one another. "I just felt helpless. I haven't felt like that in a long time."

"I know what you mean." He replied quietly, I could only wonder what they did to him. I only knew that neither one of us wanted to go into much detail. "I realized how I have to break all ties from Batman. I can't be Robin anymore."

I thought about his words for a moment weighed them in my mind and couldn't help but think of Selina when she explained to me not the importance of Bruce Wayne, but the importance of Batman. Even if they were the same person, and even if Bruce Wayne was more Batman than he was Bruce Wayne. Sure a Robin could be replaced like Dick had, in fact Batman really didn't really need Robin at all and neither did Gotham. But Gotham did need Batman."For a very long time I resented Bruce too. Overtime that resentment became respect, because I realized just how important he is."